the (better late than never) free admission confession...

Spring with me lettuce roll

Argh...i moost take a jet, train, auto to boot
n travel countless miles to quench me thirst
oonly 2b told to s coot
with mouth parch dry like desert sands,
not enough moisture

to strike up a tune on the ole skin flute
so passersby toss change into my case -

as if u give/gave a hoot
cuz ye probably got gobs of loot
so...the point mute
to prattle on and soil my birthday suit
wawa - (que in
bobbing doleful violins) - toot.

call me an oddball,
albeit a 64 year old married male
with a nasal drawl
boot i rarely watch videos

but feel the call
to bound head over heels toward books
that teeter on the upper most shelf n almost fall
upon me noggin -

with an echo..cho.ho.o down the hall
of the mountain king -

asleep so sh.. lest he wake n maul
this apostle - with he cohort peter n paul
to brainsto...

An anticlimactic sexual event...

with Barb Black née Beebee
to help set the ghost
of little Willy Brandt free
(a non German, but germane fellow
courtesy Craigslist classified
personals of mine invitee
she replied, I took liberty
to Google her first and last name,
and risked calling mentioning,
she qualified as lucky nominee
meaning yours truly hanker
for a barenaked lady
to indulge libidinal orgasmic spree,
(ahem - no pun intended)
in layman's terms to make whoopie!

Years ago, an outing
with paramour went awry

lower gastrointestinal system
of the down did not comply
dear reader let these lines hopefully edify

and entertain courtesy
garden variety generic guy,
who strives to tickle your fancy
to jollify cause yours truly
tries humor that's no lie

and if receptive

to give feedback please notif...

Four play in kingdom femdom cum!

Courtesy the sixty four year old married poet of of Perkiomen Valley, Pennsylvania.

Sorry madam - fur any dupe la kit, butta bony transmission took so dog gone long that precautionary tree measure (n one that possibly induced nausea), this doodling character from mad max matrix only wanted tubby sure his palaver of utter drivel usurped your valuable time, n perhaps even induce a deep sleep. a prince of course will need to gallop upon a pure white stead and kiss those rosy lips and awaken ye from the deep comatose like sleep. any chance such a candidate could be this here laughable pawn broker? friendship always welcomed by me (a devout atheist, capitalist, boo dissed, ethicist, fatalist, generalist, humanist, iconoclast, jurist, linguist, minimalist, naturalist, opportunist, et cetera... Now just sit back n enjoy this erotic persiflage without any intent 4 dis hea scribe to offer the following playful badinage NOT 2 anger, demean, enrage, fuel gastronomical heaves...

Lost libido rez erected haint no fallacy

Me primate chronological
adolescent age evinced
flood microsoft billeted gates
bursting viz ensian
fleshy prickly sticky stub,
though smallish, zee
tallywhacker proudly, joyously,
and deftly socked one seminal bang
courtesy garden variety generic rammy buck,
whose berry pull lite
hello ladies twig, could land

sucker punch damn the torpedo puncturing,
wharf lewd gates demolished, thus testosterone
wrested control vis a vis
expunged mighty tsunami
forceful tidal waves jabbed
and pierced boxer shorts
rendering underwear utterly useless as what?...
donut hole? ring without a ding? toothless dad?....
thence retracted whet ragged limp, floppy duff
flay dud discobolus?,

chewed biscuit ova Yankee dew till
birthed via super fresh fielding
acme teenage heterosexual
whet dreams made me
stir crazy exp...

Impossible mission to sleep on opposite side of marital bed...

Oddly enough even

when frolicking in the autumn mist
with seasoned super tramping

cheaply tricked out goo goo dolls
some resembling Indigo Girls,
one foo fighting beastie boy
unable to adjust snoozing
on the left bedside.
 

Don't ask me why,
cuz we (all the barenaked ladies

who gifted me

with their uncommon

sense and sensibility) did make

a conscientious effort and try

behind closed doors to pry

ourselves loose from convention

impossible mission to modify behavior

indelibly etched in consciousness

since being knee-high,

each of us sought safety secured
snuggled in the bosom of mommy dearest
in an effort to thwart the bogeyman,

whose breastworks did protect and electrify

with severe shock

aforementioned unwanted intruder.

Even...

Methinks muss elf akin to a cold prickly...

being analogous to a
limp biscuit viz
wussy wonky willy,
yet back in the day
rolling in hay worm
may at large cavorted
frolicked, and idealized
as a warm fuzzy.

Though aforementioned title
slightly risqué and silly,
yours truly dwells in Schwenksville,
approximately an hour drive
northwest from Philly,
a geographic enclave flush with
seeds of life and White Lily
hometown of mine reminiscent
of Lake Woebegone
similarly verdant and hilly.

Today I bubble with gumption and glee
riding a crest of carefree euphoria prithee
within Netherlands home to Zuiderzee.

Now yours truly lets thoughts unspool
as they popup like mushrooms

after a soaking rain
and flash across consciousness
hoping to hammer somewhat
comprehensible poetic product
wrought courtesy tool
of me ...

Inextricably rooted with hair fixation

As a lad in grade school,
yours truly, (a diminutive, intuitive,
oversensitive, and vegetative potato head kid,
whose voice exhibited
a severe nasal twang)
felt envious at other boys,
especially those young bucks
who sported budding antlers
plus thick thatch of hair.

Even now as a grown man
of three score plus three earthly orbitz,
(come January thirteenth
add another Roman Numeral one),
I (an aging long haired
pencil necked geek)
idolize guys genetically
gifted with a full - high scoring rack
plus luscious non dreadful locks.

Mine grungy unkempt appearance
immediate trademark characteristic feature
for more'n half my existence
on terrestrial plain,
represented antiauthority, familiarity, insularity,
minority, peculiarity, security, and vulgarity (nah),
which most likely undermined my quest

the (better late than never) free admission confession...

...exhortations against Ole Saint Nick

(alternately titled treasured untold shenanigans of Santa)

his elves and reindeer discovered only

by colluding via "FAKE" fluke

did I manage to worm winning the trust

among Christmas elves and reindeer

confident this generic guy,

would never breach scandalous

tidbits, into an underground impregnable

air-raid shelter, the Motley Crue

tied blindfold over my eyes, didst steer

me hermetically sealed,

which crawl space required me to hunker

sound (cloud) proof bunker

while ensconced (security detail munchkins,

who just so happened tubby queer

minded entrance portal)

only after getting the thumb up signal,

whereat nose pies planted

espionage surveillance devices

the chief head honcho and attendants,

Smoky and the bandits respective...

Do you to date.?

Hey dear,

Do you to date.
hello..?

take with a grain of salt, sand, or spoonful of sugar to help this meddlesome email be more palatable.tis me man, a sleepy, grumpy dopey bugs bunny. eh, what's up doc? er, snow white or variegated primary colors?

'though this Noah hank hair in
my phallus revved as a teensy testy engine
if ja serum eyes (aye surmise), 
   ah soft silky like female doeskin
ur right on the the.....but tin
4 I desire 2b with a bare naked lady
   do win da Vladimir Horowitz keyboard spin
whence ma lil male member b cums sharp as a pin
ready 2 pricks yar plush cue shiner puss sin
sum down-home tongue lick
kin, tree "v" hen hard me stick 4 c...

imaginary flirtatious conversation

english speaking man dials home of Hispanic resident:

"ring"

woman answers: "hola"

man responds: "hola filla wanted?"

woman: "que pasa?"

man: "uno twat?"

woman: "no!"

man: "poor pecka!"

woman: "si senor!"

man: "puss e please?"

woman: "moi bien!"

man: "hard to hear you!"

woman: "softly sighs and murmurs...aah".

man: "let met get erectly to the point senora!"

man: "black hole sought for this bank !"

man: "cumprende?"

woman: "ah...dinero!"

man: "my doll a, i wanna fore nick cull cate with me weeny peen knee!"