minayaJ

18200

Written Thoughts. Site Rank MAJOR GENERAL
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Never once....

Thoughts Part

I broke down earlier today

Tears escaping the sadness it had to portray

Pain I had to release

Needed my mind to feel at peace

No one noticed as my head was low

The tears and sniffles I couldn't control

My mind was the center of the show.

Thoughts streaming like flashing news

Couldn't select the topic to amuse

As there were too many to choose

These are thoughts, though I can not refuse.

Siting still and weeping in my lonely corner I couldn't put the thoughts in order My mind was still the main performer.

Family Boundaries

Family Boundaries Invade your space My whole life they want to retrace Without a pencil or pen Harsh words at a slow pace Old patterns must be broken Distress words spoken Instead of support they rain on my parade Try to instill fear in me to feel afraid Now I doubt all my decisions with all they've displayed Family Boundaries seems like I've been surveyed In this closed knit intervention only to be played My thoughts and ideas are left lost in the shade

Make it right

Right now I'm the new talk of the town Don't know if it's because I am a caramel complexion or light-skinned brown Nonetheless don't care what they say I am an afro, Latina. This grill on my face every day appears meaner. Guards up set solid with high vibes and strong demeanor Got my eyes on the lady with the luscious lips to get in between her. Having her whisper-sweet elegance in my ear sounds like a silent purr No backseat of my jeep lady to swing episode have my chauffeur Folks always going to speak about you in ebonics when they don't know your politics. Throw your name in the mix I dodge their words shooting bricks and sticks to cause conflicts keeping my name out of their lips

Mind Trap

Thoughts in my mind roam around like stray cats under street lamps... Purring their way into my mind like black cats hypnotizing the hungry vamps... Dry mouth tries to speak on these thoughts, instead I find myself shooting blanks... Silent films where emotions are expressed loudly with actions but the pain in the heart feels like its been stabbed multiple times with homemade shanks... Writing instrument at my tips to leave thoughts imprinted on paper like time stamps... Every collapsing thought crumbles into a relapse... To track where my thoughts crack with endless gaps... I fall into traps the mind plays even trying to escape with road maps...

New Days

Mental health be fought daily is serious Days go by so well then i begin to feel delirious Pray to God for guidance in angles I become furious Not getting answers from up above I'm loosing control of this Do I sound ridiculous? How do these feelings emerge from one day to the next Start reaching out to loved ones for guidance my phones is filled up with text. No one understands whats the cause and effect How thoughts appear to multiple in my mind like a pop up test Only hope for the best Continue to pray daily to release this pain out my chest.

How to heal

Is there something to calm the trauma of an inner child... As adults we live our life trying to hide behind a smile. Different chapters in our life get put away into a file. But the drama and pain continue to pile. You seek help here and there through meditation written thoughts and even and even people that care. Still in the end your mind continues to roll in a snowball effect creating despair. Sometimes I feel like giving up not caring who I hurt while hold this empty cup. A cup that shows me my blank reflection. All because my heart needs true affection. Is there True or False affection? Or is it that the heart just shuts itself down and wants to hide forever in protection. All I ever want to do is feel a quote un-quote connection. So my tears can dry up and my facial expression can turn in a positive direction.

American Dream

The media makes every easily amused person fall into ridiculous. Lazy Americans stay at home waiting on their stimulus. Checks getting printed as the ink gets tinted and couch potatoes get their mind twisted. Passing help wanted signs on their way home seems limitless. Live day by present day to future waiting on their success. Complain to family and friends on their daily stress. The American Dream as outside countries live on a guess. Ready to put their interest like lighting a cigarette. Why do some of us express so heavily each day to be blessed. As others turn to a quest by hitting the streets for different reasons to protest. Life as we know it keeps getting depressed. Positivity is in a few of us that stay on the spiritual a quest. Challenges are thrown like a pop quiz before drowning into the big test. Either stand still or head east or west and begin your progress.

Now Seeking

I stay awake

Legs dont stop the shake

Heartaches Venting like earth quakes

The heart feels the stake

I stay awake and try to fake

Waiting for day to break

Slamming on my worn out brakes

Learning from all my mistakes

Instead of wisecracks, giving wise takes

Taking the time, for our hearts to heal & wake

Life's a gamble, its all a risk, yet we dare tempt fate

Life's never ending path, travels better with a life mate

Tangled thoughts

To fight to race to beat your mind and it's wild thoughts

Is like feeling like your mind has been double crossed

With events that appear out of nowhere without any caution signs

You feel like your life is nearing it last line

But when something isn't enough as the sound of windchimes

Noises in your mind that sound like crystalized enzymes

When you want the world to stop for a quick briefing

While you try to gather life an its entirity while your weeping

Your mind is at a pace that sleep has become displeasing

The eyes you used to close to rest are now weeping

Quiet Moments

As you always slot me into postponement

Time goes by and it is usually quiet moments

As the person I always want to speak with is you

Although you choose to ignore me like a park statue

You always seem too busy to speak to me

I thought we were like two peas in a pod but we are no unfortunately

It hurts to know that social media interest you more than me

Sometime I want to converse and stop reapeating to you the same verse

There will come a time when you want to converse

Hopefully it won't be too late and I'm laid up in a hearse

How much more of this lack of attention if you understand my comprehension

We don't even have deep convos on third dimensions

I feel lonely in this relationship convention

Looking back at the time that has gone by in such a blink

And the equipment I use to write hasn't dried up it's ink