Stop reading the poetry...

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just different

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I notice i only write poetry when im sad or mad....& I really hate reading them to him because the girl writing them is not the girl he is in love with. She is lost, damaged, hurt & in so much pain, so i tell him if you love me stop reading the poems. I write about everything, writing is what keeps me sane but writing brings memories that have caused so much pain. If you love me stop reading the poems. She's full of fire, blazing with rage and tears made of poison... please if you love me stop reading the poems. "What do you truly know about pain?" I know that i have lost a thousand battles to nightly demons, experienced heartaches that stop the air i breath in.....I've fallen more times then i care to remember & I've lost so many people I've cared for that i give no ***s about my temper! Life is just the art of letting go but as a writer i have no filter so i just let my flow. I have risen from the ashes, resurrected as a Goddess how dare you ask me what do I know about pain... Before I became this outrageous fire i was nothing but pure water among the seas; i gave & gave until i drowned. i took my ashes & made a flame, i write because i know how to aim. I immortalise kills with my words because i wake up and i just might have to shake a up just for the thinking she tough ...im telling you if you love me stop reading the poems. I hold on to things too much, yeah im passionate at times but real devious inside i feel a lot hate and yeah they say its much easier to just forgive & let go but what the *** do you know & that's not a question about pain that's in reference to me! we all got pride but i wear my heart on my sleeve when im suppose to act as if everything is alright.... I've never rolled my up & swept it under the rug,  i gave you es hope but i still can't trust what the fuc??? Again...if you love me stop reading the poems, cause when you hurt someone you love there's no coming back from that. I too have spoke words that dripped with cruelty but i would never use your abilities against you, i would never intentionally cut through you with shards of glass just to sit back & laugh & i would never purposely target you unless you aimed for me and missed which is something i would not easily forget. Pain....if you love me stop reading the poems. He looked up and said "I will not stop and I want to hear more because all the broken things inside you are what makes you whole and i refuse to only love one part of who you are! So if you love me please read some more.