Pleasingly Plump Praiseworthy Princesses

Worry knot chokes out the living daylights

I know from personal experience

the foolhardiness of

courting, flirting, honeymooning...

worse case scenario,
particularly when just a wee lad,

yours truly internalized

unfamiliar bodily aches and pains

as a death sentence,

slept with one eye opened
against nightmarish fiends birthed

courtesy overactive imagination

and subsequently did buzzfeed
crowded house of mind
ranking as capital one pet peeve

that festered and kickstarted

linkedin deplorable mental outlook,

which anguish expended

emotional exhaustion all for naught
and only later in life
more lackadaisical toward mortality.

All things considered

regarding working myself into a lather

chomping at the bit of uncertainty
(while simultaneously nibbling
on freshly baked powder milk biscuits)

prompts me to a...

In the manse market for a preowned spa house

Mine feeble efforts pale in comparison

to a kid scaling El Capitan

of Yosemite National Park,

nevertheless me, a dry witted husband

self emasculated milquetoast

of late ofttimes yawps imprecations
against fickle finger of fate.

No way would yours truly

utter maledictions against the missus,
who espouses unbridled love

toward (me) the groom she married
approximately two and a half

dozen dirty dancing years ago,
yet I experience winter of discontent,

where married life appears ideal,

when she happens to sleep,
or shops for food at supermarket.

We comport ourselves

with considerably less contention

versus half life ago

of our connubial covenant,

when verbal and physical altercations

the rule rather than exception,

linkedin with severe dom...

Harold the Hugh Hefner carrot top buck

Ruled his hare'm
nsync with trumpeting Donald Duck,
(loud enough to arouse Daisy),
the former cartoon character,
a pensive searing black kind Roebuck
heir to a fortune hauling trash and rubbish,

whereby dust bunnies repurposed

into environmentally friendly
electric kool aid acid tested batteries

powering many an electric truck,
which wolfed, kick/jump started

and guzzled down

synthesized reconstituted quality kosher product.

An atypical genre I did tender
wherein I nestled inside warren

peaceful nested litter,
impossible mission fat chance
otherwise odds being slender,
not me mien tubby an offender
courtesy yours truly a heterosexual,

he considers himself thoroughly

one hundred percent male gender.

Anyway Harold's velvet teen,
fluff filled, carrot topped, R2D2

Open Arms Welcome Poetry Muse

Ideally yours truly prefers

a she/her who never got prosecuted for a felon,

yet who most deaf fin knit lee

possesses sound blinding killer instincts

think miracle worker Anne Sullivan

signifying rendering phenomenal success

with one female named re: amazing Helen

exhibiting discerning admirable qualities
constituting intelligent witty male

despite his/him sports haunch size of a melon.

I gently beckon inspiration
for dalliance with mother tongue

English Language, each
singular lettered manifestation
familiar to yours truly symbolized
by panoply, sans twenty six letters,
 

whereby this patient wordsmith
luxuriates, when writer's block
yields sudden gush,
nee burst of creativity
dissolving impenetrable wall
mental log jammed impasse,

discourages literary amb...

Incorrigible Lottery Dreamer

Paradise visage and eyes a bulge with dollar signs

whets imagination with PowerBall ticket bought

expect the usual outcome

after next drawing to yield monetary naught

temptation for instant millions

human foible to reach for elusive pot of gold

streak of universal desire

for potential wealth overtakes rational self

with delusions of grandeur caught

allow, enable and provide flirtation

with fate to experience rich draught

envision emancipation from penury

a distant battle fought

and tacked hard scrapple existence wrought.

at the core

legal tender in such precious chronically

in short supply within this family of four

though times eye desire

at least another son or daughter more

at such urge (long silenced of this ram

by ewe to who) did vehemently roar

boot budding young girl...

Death Friended Me On Facebook

(while trapped in Pottstown
Pennsylvania Memorial Hospital parking lot).

My humble apology to those,
who posted uber up lyft ting messages
to this Macbook Pro Facebook keeper,
without said scrivener swiftly
tailoring timely acknowledgement
from one harried styled leaper,

thus feel free to take
leguminous litigious licorice flavor
flav can deed extra-legal
imprisonment against my liberty,
(though catty, I am pusillanimous,
sans feline nine lives cheaper

by the dozen), plus verbally ejaculating
out gee golly jeeper,
or more pointedly
calling me a mother eff fing bleeper,
for seeming to appear unresponsive
as a stale petrified marshmallow peeper,

and yes quite understandable
bitcoin torrents of rage runs deeper

than a blockchain though close call,
yet just lemme explain,
how during ...

The missus pounded mine posterior...

causing percussive rumpus
to vibrate like jelly

Me experienced quite disruptive sleep
(quite early in the morning
of November 10th 2022 -
no shut eye could I keep),

hence though exhausted, I share
childlike trait of mine spouse
insufferable playfulness finds me
ready to collapse in a heap.

Missus as inquisitor a worse

fate than death expounded courtesy

the following cheeky verse

about bearing derrière perverse

antic for wife to adopt role of nurse
Ratched she of (One flew over
the cuckoo's nest fame)

the missus every smack
upon me posterior I did curse,

thus poem not for the faint of heart
some or all of material you may find averse.

Meanwhile good n plenty vibrations resonated

felt and heard round the world wide web
(strongest ...

The missus discerns a glimmer of empathy within her spouse

Finally after twenty two plus

years of marriage,

a husband (namely yours truly -

exhibits glint of care and concern

toward his significant other,

which wife bemoaned

absent expressions of love

particularly before the

honeymoon even occurred.

I readily admit shying away

from emotional intimacy,

especially toward the gal

whose pledge I trothed

July twenty fifth nineteen ninety six,
(fifteen days hence)

yet even formative years (mine)

scant overtures displayed toward

me father, mother, plus

older and younger sister

(neither non twisted).

A strong suspicion predominates

neurological, psychological,

and social perturbations

commingled while said christened goodfella

developed in utero, whereat genetic quarks

...

Present wedded bliss haint no touchstone...

Circa ~ late spring/ early summer 1978
twas at behest of Harriet Harris,
thus due credit mother dearest
(she long since passed away)
who tried, to bribe, coax, exhort...
(protracted effort not all in vain),
cuz her second of three progeny,

and sole son i.e. (me) to
commingle, frolic, immerse myself
quintessentially ushering yawping zeal,
cuz general disposition courtesy yours truly
heavily trended toward solitude,
limiting interpersonal opportunities

minus those crafted,
viz overactive imagination (mine).

I took immediate affinity
(think how quick ducks adapt to water)
to milieu of contra dancing
and soon became popular with the gals,

surprising myself how enjoyable
untrammeled pinteresting linkedin hoopla
delivered je ne sais quois joie de vivre
(the most fun one could experience
without tak...

~ Homage to Walt Sing Matt Tilde ~

The art of the
"FAKE" deal
(according
to Walt Dizzy
Take a Knee
Singing
Matt Tilde)
once again
as oft iterated
in previous poems,
doth (soup pearly,
theoretically,

and wantonly)
appertain
to anyone
(abstractedly,
essentially,
and loosely
translated),
aye ascertain
ptomaine anyone
can attain
driving a
hard bargain,
(sans base
ment prices)

utilizing
her/his birdbrain,
(which might
be about the size
of a child size
chill blain -
mebbe
acquired during
weather
beaten life
at sea as
boatswain),
nonetheless
for results,
one best ought
be without
a brain

even if
promoted as
Captain Cain
Guru, cuz to become
star apprentice,
one must master<...