when someone leaves
it is so loud
so personal
so silent
a deafening emptiness
that has a middle ear
only you can hear
you
are
not coming back
you
are
never coming back
I have to know that
right
So
there will never be
a necessary you and me
3 am’s are the worst
pleading for peace
you remember I said
that’s when time
goes to sleep
the in between time
when moments cease
when yesterday gave up tomorrow
Still
I miss
the fragrance of your pleasure
a voice that satisfies
the vapor of a long distance string
that did not know
it was holding together
a life that would never be
But
your vibrations
are all around still
velvet passionate silver raindrops
they linger
knowing
me
finding
me
I know
you rarely think of we
you moved up and I moved around
Still you
a most beautiful drug
now a humiliating habit
Now
I creep
for a stranger
not to worry
they said
social media
is not a danger
profile up
smile for the camera
cry into the wine
hurry you don’t have much time
we have become
the victim of the monster
and now
the monster to the victim
feeling hysterical
in a smiling room of misery
Hoping he
will provide
the ultimate surrender
of the first shot
the last shot
that
crippled me
and my pride
but still I quench
the jagged edges
needing to survive
the nights
when there are no
safe ledges
doesn’t have to be quality
just a momentary remembrance
that satisfies the pain
just so I might cry with some dignity
when I stand lonely in the rain
please just find the trace
the touch
he left all over hours of me
I am lost in a pirouette
far off away into his source
Wondering
where is this place
that all love lost really goes
if love never dies
I would want to visit there
and apologize
So
what happens to the lover
who is not ready
to walk alone