the veiled angst overflowed
pouring thoughts into a legitimacy
I have been told
best left
not to unsettle
what has been imposed
but that corrosive tolerance
softly pleaded
by a loving mother
will slow drip
life from me
if left seeded
i asked my brand new lover
what he thought
he said
you sound very angry
as he dusted
his face
to prepare
for another day
amongst
the super race
okay
a bit emotional I admit
but
no offer
no further depth at exploring
the pain I have been enduring
what
so as a side note
i extended a courtesy
of infinite urgency
a goodbye
he had to go
as my foot helped shift
the last box
of my lovers stuff
over my threshold
a door that had guarded
a frail lock in my mind
began to creak open
a tearful reveal
of what I would find
I ran fingers
of my mother
who had caressed
her new born
baby girl
in the
“blacks only”
section of a hospital basement
through
my thick coarse hair
defiant
to be reckoned with
strong willed
wild free
and knowing
its privileged place in history
an ironic impression
i am reminded in haste
that there are those
that are offended
by the coils of my tree
why
is it
again
again
that I am not allowed
to just exist and be free
that toil was at cost
provided with only
a step ladder and shovel
on your mark get ready
go
unbalanced bound and muzzled
a deception manicured
for generations to come
bowing over backwards burning
tears on cheeks ever turning
So here we are
as
I remind you
of the truth
the deep dark secret
even kept from you
you
are
from deep within
the core
of me
you
ripped me
from sacred ground
but
have forgotten
that
I am
the seed
you have
worked diligently
to despise and degrade me
introducing fear of God
and the super man
in attempt to contain me
not knowing my path was
in reach of true humanity
but I am
your reflection
that you choose
to not see
in elimination of self
you discarded the soul
but I am here
on this seized land
an excluded pawn
an orphan
with
no root
that will embrace me
the regret
should come
as the present teacher
not
as the dead reminder
I rise
but to your occasion
I ask
for forgiveness
to all
who perished before
they lie in my shame
now I must forgive myself
for believing
that this appalling reality
will ever change