“FAKE” Dread Locked Dumpster Diver

Free association comprises ratiocination...

Bonafide catatonic doggedness,

nevertheless this stubborn stoic poet writ
afore and another feeble effort courtesy
exhaustive mental effort

he brewed den - brought about divine visit

analogously to solve mystery pinpointing

within suspense unveiling whodunnit.

Whereat your true
plane vanilla author's creativity
admittedly drastically did decline
bawling and crying
caterwauling putting any feline,

to shame, hence abandoned grandiose design,

cuz he suddenly contracted

(think fabricates)... what else
flesh eating bacteria unfavorable sign

finding me body stone cold supine

(courtesy brainstorm that went awry)
inducing purgatory nauseating
sensation to vomit,
nope not at all feeling fine,

hence literary dream subsequently mine
ambition tanking (think
kamikaze nose diving
mi...

Doomsday Clock minute hand...

hovers over 100 seconds to midnight

as of January 2022,

which apocalyptic prognostication

established by the Bulletin

of Atomic Scientists

maintained since 1947,

the clock quantifies a metaphor

for threats to humanity

from unchecked scientific

and technological advances.

Very thin sliver of time remains

before zero hour realized,
but countless heroic measures attainable
prior to Doomsday Clock striking midnight

(witnessing global annihilation unleashed

courtesy malevolent forces

wrought by egregious

ingenious narcissistic mankind),

whereby civilization inextricably linkedin

ominous quaking storied unsettling webbed

wide world harbingers
vitiated by weapons of mass destruction

loom ever closer unless
Homo sapiens can unite,
wh...

Coloring smiling faces donned with faux missing teeth,

and waxing poetic lip schtick adorned with moustaches

Swarthy, spooky, scary carved
pumpkin faces thickly materialized

out of thin air

as Halloween holiday loomed near

yes... just an innocently naive fickle kid,

who easily did scare,

attended Henry Kline
for 'most every year
 

elementary grade school

no matter I abided every rule

and colored within every line
turquoise blue favorite jewel

blackening every other tooth

affixing moustache, sideburns,
and beard upon every face kooky rule.

Nor, never stepped on sidewalk crack
to break mother's back

wonder who believes
such poppy alas and alack

I haint superstitious

nonetheless steer clear of any black

cat, nor walking under any ladder,

especially on Friday thirteenth.

Chief garbage taster as fifth grade Halloween gag

at Henry Kline Boyer Elementary School

interestingly enough landed me a grubhub grab bag.
 

I rooted thru poetry anthology of mine,

and came across an unpublished poem

by one obscure poet (me), whose trademark

wit and wisdom hallmark

cardinal characteristics

of posthumous fame and fortune

largesse most likely

tabby bestowed upon grand kittens -

appended courtesy Facebook

since none of my two (both

twenty something aged) darling daughters

opted to be fruitful and multiply.

Courtesy brainchild of dear old dad

(actually when alive

and in his prime, he happened to be spunky

as an overgrown lad),

unanimous assent between him and mother

(she also when young, his junior by a tad)

both agreed their quiet natured son

(yours truly plus younger sister)

This accidental arsonist sparked following matchless anecdote

I attribute being a grown mad scientist

linkedin with tacit approval of parents

(both long gone to the smoky afterlife),

and donned wizard trumpeting magic spells

while dark and stormy night

(one week before Halloween),

which usher nostalgic memories

encapsulated within the following poem

initially drafted quite some years ago.

Both parents possessed pedigreed panache

(but especially my father – renown Chemist

B.B. Harris and to slightly lesser extent

late culinary cuisine queen Harmit Harms

Kuritsky - gal whose troth thy then still

livingsocial octogenarian widower papa

pledged, while holding some bubbling

sinister looking flask in hand while both

donned trumpeting finessed affianced

doctored formula to marry, when both

partook of blind date.

...

Twice told toilet tale – a cheeky execrable gross fable

which poetic product best be affixed

with hashtag STINKY label.

As a young whippersnapper

and one precocious lad to boot,

I discovered common combustible materials

found in the bathroom.

At opportune times,

I blithely tinkered with dangerous chemicals

that could (but never did)

explode into one humongous

fiery maelstrom and

bloom (re: annihilate)

this lad to smithereens.

Window kept open to avoid

un--necessary nor accidental asphyxiation.

After clearing defecation deep within,

the recesses of my bowels,

I thenceforth indiscriminately combined

various household cleansers

and cleaners (in powder

and/or liquid form) into the bidet.

The requisite sphincter muscle

byproduct constituted the key ingredie...

Only son forsaking his filial promise to father on his deathbed

After papa succumbed

to congestive heart failure
October 7th, 2020 yours truly

neglected fulfilling promised score.

I did shirk maintaining bond

with youngest sister

who when a boy especially fond
regarding said sibling
whereat myself and and Shari Todd
played cat and mouse
chasing each other to pond
necessitating both of us to traverse

wooded thicket simultaneously
waving our magic wand.

Boyhood of mine chock full of memories

framing me and most favorite playmate
requiring keen eye to distinguish

one scrawny little lad no one would debate
impossible mission to discern
thirty three month age difference,
cuz we appeared to naked eye
as identical twins.

Flickering images of yesteryear
pepper memory faculty where

froze frieze in time

What formerly got celebrated as adventitious age of exploration...

1492 unleashed, jump/

kick started, and downloaded

a bittorrent götterdämmerung
spelling genocide of indigenous peoples

occupying Turtle Island,

now surviving tribes

just a shell of their former grandeur.

At present Columbus day

linkedin with high dudgeon

courtesy scattered remnants

of once proud nations

occupying contiguous United States

plus calling Alaska and Hawaii

their happy hunting grounds,

enshrine actual or mythologized

spectacular pièce de résistance

instances when counting coup.

I recollect needing to know
scores of years ago
when a student attending grade schools
within Lower Providence District

as an important bit of information

contributing to (white washed) history

of western civilization

Sinister voices heard...

and ethereal disembodied spirits seen

from the other side of the woods

said phantasmagorical sound and sight

particularly experienced every Halloween.

Though dog tired

ready for the nocturnal sandman,
but before succumbing to countless winks

namely, quintessentially, telepathically

fictitious mythical character yours truly wired.

No matter five plus weeks
before onset of All Hallows' Eve,

or All Saints' Eve, celebration

(observed in many countries

on thirty first October).

The following adverse scenario unfolded

conjuring galling kickstarting
crepuscular dark shadows, albeit amorphous
fleecy, gauzy, hallucinatory... phenomenon,

whereby I witnessed

eerie superior imps jumpstarting piercing

along the edge of night

slithering out ...

I haint donning royal carpet treatment

No stuntman/woman showed up,

albeit intervened in timely fashion
to thwart mishaps experienced

courtesy me I bemoan,

and poet lore re: yet of Perkiomen Valley
Pennsylvania, United States of America
never suffered major illness nor broken bone
(specifically life and death health crisis,

nor compound fracture respectively)
cuz guardian angel intervened,
though aim of mine heretofore

forthwith literary endeavor
merely expressing, exhibiting, examining...
a painfully bodily mishap,

where Lady Luck gussied up as crone

perhaps female spirit of

Matthew Scott Harris

in the guise of wizened older woman
himself affecting doppelganger

as grotesquely personified...

well lemme cease written jibber jabber

without rhyme nor reason

nor sense and sensibility
analogous to being subjected to an...