Nameless Girl

CATEGORY

just different

In eighth grade, a girl that I dated in the third grade came back around, I tried to get back with her and she told me the two most powerful words in the hood language, please, I had no facial hair, my head was the size of three bowling balls combined and I was skinny as , what could pass off at age nine obviously couldn’t pass off as teenagers, instead of expressing my anger I got better, and she fell the *** off, so to baby girl who shall remain nameless, I don’t blame you for that dis back in 97, I probably wouldn’t have dated me too, but you see boo, in the long run, I got the best out of the deal because you grew up to be a snack in multiple s food shops and I caught me a few five course meals, you became I am legend, and much like the movie, many men fell dead, except it was the result of your , I don’t remember seeing much of you in high school and it probably was cause I wasn’t paying attention, but in a tournament of the women I have had in my life now, you are not even worthy of an honorable mention, see...damn...I was gonna say you name, but I refrain, but I remember you searched up my name, cause when I logged into facebook one day I had a request, I saw your pic and said, well I’ll be damned, so as I scanned ya albums for the five or so pictures and I considered myself the luckiest , and luck starts with L, so that should dispel the notion that taking an L is always a bad thing, had I ***ed you, my would probably be singing tunes entitled chlamydia blues and going platinum, had I kissed you, I would’ve probably tasted the saltiest thoughts of a few men, if you was born back in the day you would’ve probably sucked off the three wise men, and they never would’ve made it to baby Jesus, Jesus, I need to give Him a personal high five on judgement day, because when He ask me what was my most proud moment in life, I’ll say it’s when you had her throw that dis, I shoulda put that on compact disc and sold it to every radio station, took the blunt of crowd reactions and not even tried to clear my name, because to have my name associated with you would’ve actually been a downfall to me seeing how your position in life was all fours or on your knees, so let me conclude this oscar winning speech with a thank you to that girl, you just don’t know how valuable the word no was, and ya face, it’s not the same one as that pretty girl in the third grade, it just a degraded version, and thank you for keeping me a virgin, singed, the ugliest you ever knew