she always knew
her greyed shape
would only enjoy
moments
of amber gold and olive
her residence had been a tapestry
of silent tolerance
questioned by fear
of who she really was
she shuffled
from place to place
and back
committing only if she new
a way out
so often
no one really knew of her worth
it would get erased
each time she closed a door
as she often did
for most
she arrived
as a magnificent spark
burning incredible moments
of forever imprints
just as quickly
a candle quivering
unsettled afterthoughts
to those who tried
to latch to her light
but
she had never lived
what others considered
life
it was an illusion that she
never understood
one to sorrowful to
settle her sensitive stem
it would smother her oxygen
and sift her energy
when her heart finally
had enough of the farcical
she would lock her walls
fold her life
and paint her windows black
she would sit in hush
waiting
for any like one
to come
to water
no one ever did
when the wound became absolute
she ran away from herself
aloof to the weight of moments
anchored to her heart
no longer questioning or reasoning
but content to
not be
until
there was no more
she sat in silent playgrounds
listening to children laughing
she enjoyed the indulgence
of a soft encounter with hope
she watched as the
last crimpled leaf
fell from its tree
dangling in a winters breath
she found pleasure knowing
that life existed and when over
could walk gently away with no
hesitation or need to stay
she was the swimmer
who contently dove
every evening
into an ocean of sand
her breath was a privilege
rewarded moment by moment
a mirror reflecting her smile
could no longer see
the mirror had found faith
to console all of her
unseen tangled wounds
watching a flowing river
with daffodils and garbage
the journey became her solace
all else was smoke
It was then
she would remember
emptiness floats into butter colored warmth
because it needs to heal
sadness was the addiction of re-living anything
that ever made our hearts soar
perfection lives in gratitude
of complete imperfection
imperfection
is the essence
of hope at birth
rising