If I was a cell phone, I would commit suicide by lethal draining, avoid all chargers and electrical outlets, see I was merely invented to call and text, check in on the elderly, call my sons in college, give me mama a ring to see what see throwing down on the stove, but now I am nothing more than the worst invention ever created, see my numbers of 9-1-1 are not used, we rather hit record and catch that abuse when the fight going down, with an ohh here and a ahh there, followed by a quote saying this going on world star my , in the same breath, when 9-1-1 pull triggers it’s why did you shoot him like that, see it’s all in the same, you want a viral claim to fame instead of inserting your name on someone’s lifeline to actually save their life, you like to screenshot me when s cheating on their wife, why is you telling my innermost secrets, you won’t even tell the you with what you ate five minutes ago and how you ho in private when you power me down, puttin in pre made words to cover up your trips, I aint say that , I have my microchip degree and PhD so when you *** up, I auto correct, and what's this about you opening up to me, I don’t recognize you three fifths of the time, the girl who purchased me was fine, I don’t know who this cheetah ears having chick with red hair is, access denied, and Mr man, why is you incriminating yourself on my screen, how did you hit me on the side and go from your three year old son, to recording you see this glock 40 cuz, blood, all grouped up with yo s after committing armed robbery, then you get mad at me cause I threw up your dumb on social media, and ironically the cop who arrested you was named earl, see jay z said it’s a hard knock life, but this cell phone life is ten times harder, I exchange hands on a daily, you know how many babies I done seen in their prime, only to capture the last images of them when they die, see I can’t get with these new s, y’all misuse me all day, I still remember when cats only ***ed with me after nine, then when that went cool, I told em *** with me after seven, but now y’all wanna *** with me at one thirty in the a.m., I stopped working the night shift years ago, but my brain still functioned, unlike humans who’s malfunctioned with the junction that the most effective communication is sent through towers and invisible beams, instead of our greatest gift, humanly means
Artist JoeMac
 19300
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Books Written By Poet
If I was a Cell Phone
CATEGORY
just different
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OTHER POEMS WRITTEN BY Artist JoeMac
Forrest ChumpForrest Gump, my , This the only dude I know who went all american in football, got shot in the ass, won the medal of honor, drunk all the pepsis at the white house, told the president he had to pis, showed his ass, literally, on national tv, beat a white boyat a black panther rally, went to the olympics, ran across America, including thorugh a big pile of dog , and then he did the ultimate, he buried the chick who curved him all his life in the backyard to make sure that was dead, did I mention that he had a Black best friend whose IQ was lower than his, did I mention he was the first to die in the movie, while his white counterparts all survived their rescue, cause Black men never survive horror movies and I learned over time, that Forrest Gump, is the scariest ***ing movie a Black person could ever watch outside of The Help, did you notice that the help was a Black maid, Mrs. Louise, living in a house on an old slave plantation, serving them, cleaning for them, did you notice...  |
Black and ServeMy friend asked me what it's like to be Black and to serve, I said, it’s kinda like being the kid that no one really wants to be around, but your parents bought you all of the cool toys, so they allow you to play in their barbed wire playhouse, make you feel like you have all the friends in the world, I mean nah, it's kinda like being a blood, because you can shed blood on bloody battlefields, but the minute you get home the boys in blue is after you, and maybe they crippin, I mean trippin, but the navy floats on blue seas under blue skies so maybe that's why they bang on us, a military ID can’t save us even when we walk through the gates, cause two strikes have been placed in the spot of your rank insignia, snipers with their rifles stand watch on the tower locked and loaded, waiting for the order to fire until someone comes across their radio channel and says hold it, he’s one of the good ones, don’t shoot, and I put my hands up out of fear a... |
Second PlaceWhen I qualified for this slam, my brother asked me, what if you come in second place, I thought about it for a minute, and then I remembered how for my whole life I’ve always came second, I was the second child born to a broken mother whose father drunk whiskey for recreation and considered beating my grandmother his therapy sessions, I was the second string on my high school football team, but I really became a poor sport when I got second place in divorce court because my ex wife won there, I came in second place in the fourth grade to a guy named terrence dennie at a shoot out contest, and I avoided shaking his hand after the competition, see crazy enough for me, second place has become a cancer that goes into remission but always come backs like monthly bill collectors, hitting me with a second notice saying if you do not pay your dues, the seconds that you have to enjoy these lights will turn into hours of darkness, then I started to wonder, who was that person that w... |
My First PoemI wrote my first poem the minute I came out from between my mother’s legs, it was a Thursday night in the middle of August, no I didn’t arrive with a pen, only cries, cause the light hurt my eyes, and when I finally adjusted, I screamed some more saying oh , God make me Black, I started to reach for my back to feel the two strikes they say are branded on me from birth, I looked to the left, oh , there’s my father, that’s the guy who wasn’t supposed to be here, he gotta full beard, a fro and a hooked mustache, I thought hell yeah, I’m the son of shaft, oh , this white lady is grabbin me, smacking me on my ass, I hope this isn’t a futre premonition of the police beating my ass, I mean damn, how could my first poem be so blissful and scary at the same damn time, I continued to write as I got older in age, I found myself rippin pages out of my diary when I learned grandaddy disappeared on my grandmother, snatch, I tried to write another piece... |
Impossible PossibilitiesI bet if I got you butt naked and alone that my touches wouldn’t mean anything because I still see the footprints of him from when he walked on your womb, and since your water inadvertently broke that day he called himself Jesus, and yet you still served him for longer than you should’ve, I can’t touch your heart because his fingerprints still reside on your cardiac from when he ripped it through your back from frontal shots to your chest, caution tape resides on your mouth from a murder scene that your spirit encountered, so I’m sorry for the time I brought you flowers since you mistook me for attending your own funeral, I was just tryna be romantic, nothing I do can ease that pain, you even cry when I’m analyzing your frame, I’m simply looking at your body and determining which part I’m a kiss first, but you see my look as his look and which part will he hurt worst, will you have to add makeup to makeup for your bruised eyes because of ... |
If I was a Cell PhoneIf I was a cell phone, I would commit suicide by lethal draining, avoid all chargers and electrical outlets, see I was merely invented to call and text, check in on the elderly, call my sons in college, give me mama a ring to see what see throwing down on the stove, but now I am nothing more than the worst invention ever created, see my numbers of 9-1-1 are not used, we rather hit record and catch that abuse when the fight going down, with an ohh here and a ahh there, followed by a quote saying this going on world star my , in the same breath, when 9-1-1 pull triggers it’s why did you shoot him like that, see it’s all in the same, you want a viral claim to fame instead of inserting your name on someone’s lifeline to actually save their life, you like to screenshot me when s cheating on their wife, why is you telling my innermost secrets, you won’t even tell the you with what you ate five minutes ago and how you ho in private when you power me down, putt... |
Lies in Broken GlassThere’s an old saying, that if God made anything prettier than you then he kept it for his damn self, that’s a lie, cause if God made anything prettier than you I would laugh because God never makes any mistakes, see I learned that lies, while made out to be negative, are actually positive, see I watched you lie, as you cried giving birth to our son, your hand clutched mines and said get this lil boy out of me, but when we lied down together, you said keep that big boy in you, so think about it, our lying brought out the greatest truth, I lied the first time I saw you, I said how are you, what I meant to say is I can’t wait to see this fine mutha***a naked, but that wouldn’t have been appropriate for the situation, and then I actually lied, said I’ll be back, I’m running to the store, what I actually did was run to my old chicks, told em lose contact with me forever, I ran to my old homies, told em they need to get their life together, then I r... |
15 and 7 5/8I’ve had a big head and big feet for my entire life, I now understand the strife my mama felt going through 37 hours of labor to push my big head self out, and all these years later, the only thing she raps about is how she wished the woman speaking spanish, having the baby adjacent to her could shut the hell up long enough so she could concentrate on pushing me out, that was the first time my head caused a problem, I remember coming up in school, it was cool to have the kid from kid-n-play box, or the bobby brown gumby ramp, or the fresh fade with the part that wrapped around your entire head, I thought I was cool, til my friends in school reminded me that my head was so big that my part could be used as a road to drive cross country, damn, I got roasted, I was only in grade three, add on that I had braces and a speech impediment, and it was obvious I wasn’t one of the cool kids, then, there were my feet, abnormally big for someone my age, people reminded me that I n... |
Nameless GirlIn eighth grade, a girl that I dated in the third grade came back around, I tried to get back with her and she told me the two most powerful words in the hood language, please, I had no facial hair, my head was the size of three bowling balls combined and I was skinny as , what could pass off at age nine obviously couldn’t pass off as teenagers, instead of expressing my anger I got better, and she fell the *** off, so to baby girl who shall remain nameless, I don’t blame you for that dis back in 97, I probably wouldn’t have dated me too, but you see boo, in the long run, I got the best out of the deal because you grew up to be a snack in multiple s food shops and I caught me a few five course meals, you became I am legend, and much like the movie, many men fell dead, except it was the result of your , I don’t remember seeing much of you in high school and it probably was cause I wasn’t paying attention, but in a tournament of the women I have had in... |
Last....I am a three piece suit that’s on a brother who ain’t , the type of man who smashed his homeboy’s wife two hours before the wedding and the one who drinks the last corner of their chocolate milk in their house without leaving them any money to buy another carton, I’m the type to kick their puppy in the stomach upon showing them off to me, actually, that’s not me, but there are men like that in the world, familia, forgive me, cause I have tendencies too, but unlike you, I don’t wanna be the first to be noticed, I wanna be the last, I’ve had enough firsts in my life that didn’t last, so when I saw her for the first time I wanted it to be the last time she ever laid eyes on her future for the first time, I wanted to be the last first kiss, I wanted to be her last first time ***, her last first time suck, I wanted to be the last man she said I can’t stand you too the first time when she started to double back on her decision to ... |