100
I was just thinking
I don’t wish you the best
Should have cut ya balls off
Put a hole in ya chest
You took 5 years of my life
I should have took yours
Where do I begin?
The abuse, drugs, or whores
Let’s begin when I was pregnant with J
You punched me in the stomach
Bit my finger to the bone
All because I didn’t wanna go for a ride to take ya daughter home
I tried to get away
I had no where to run
All I could think about were my kids and our unborn son
A few months passed
I put it in the back of my mind
Telling myself that was probably the last time
Now 5 months pregnant
You left with my car
Said you would be right back
You not going far
I waited all day
It turned into night
Only explanation I got was you not tryna fight
Our son was finally here
Nothing got better
Only apology I got was in a letter
Told me you were sorry and that you have changed
How you wanted to be a family at the time I felt the same
Packed our bags for the weekend
What more can I do
I bought the pampers, wipes and formula and still fed you
I remember this night like yesterday
I should have stayed home
You choked me so long
I fell on the floor
Kicked my head in then blocked the door
I played dead and ran to the window
3 stories up so
I couldn’t let go
Had to survive, so I went to bed
Grabbed our son in the morning
Can’t believe I wasn’t dead
Time went by I stayed with family
Got all my answers when I seen ya in that alley
Sitting on a step
High out your mind
Giving hundreds to ya dealer
Not giving us a dime
A year passed, got me my house
You claimed you were drug free or I could throw you out
I blamed the drugs for your abuse
Thought you were a changed man
Only took a few months
Damn!!
Hooker knocked on my door
Said you owed her for 4
Now this time I thought I was done for sure
Abuse continued
But now I’m prepared
Mace, knives, 4x4s
I’m no longer scared
Now you claim I’m crazy cause I finally snapped
Put ya hands on me now take that
Flashbacks of my last breath
I can’t seem to stop swinging
That was the last time you put ya ***ing hands on me
Courts and restraining orders
Nothing kept you away
Spent all your money on drugs but the
Courts said you can stay
Finally I took the law in my own hands and kicked you out
Was told you were getting help
In rehab at that
Getting love letters
You want your family back
I wanted to believe you
It was your first time away
Prayed for your sobriety every night and day!
Read all the letters you sent home to your son
Hoping to put it behind so we could be one
I fell in love all over again
It was the man I first met
Few months of happiness
I will never forget
