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I wish that I could pull you back from the dead by your hair
Slap you in your face, and make you understand that the streets
They don’t love you
They’ll consume you
And maybe you know this already
Maybe you just don’t care
Or maybe this spirit of death follows you, even to your slumber
Destruction knows no bounds
And maybe, just maybe you’ll welcome death
Because anything is easier than living life with the deck of cards that we’ve been dealt
I know your depression
Because we are connected by blood
You are my sister
And your pain is my pain
And our mother raised soldiers
But nothing else
Shot us out into a world that ate us up
With no prepared instructions for her three baby girls
What could you have been, or what can you still be?
The world has not been kind to us
And the first person that you have ever loved broke your heart worse than any man or woman could
I know,
Because she broke mine too
And she set the precedent for how I allowed others to treat me
We worry about our men
But forget that our women are soldiers too
Ridden with pain, and anger too
Post traumatic stress from seeing bullets fly
I’ll never forget the one that pierced your face
We are so disconnected from one another
Because we’ve been taught to kill to survive
Even our siblings
Wake up please
I don’t want to drag you but I will
Know that you are not just a person who causes pain
But that you are beautiful
And I’m sorry
For never telling you
And for never understanding
That you and her took the brunt of all of the horrible things that were meant for me
Ate them whole and swallowed the pain
But never learned how to fully trust, or to love freely without fear
We never learned how to communicate with one another
Or
Even how to love each other
I never realized just how cold that I can be
I just want health
Mental, physical, spiritual,
Just a sense of normalcy in a chaotic world
I give so much of myself
We give so much of ourselves, that we can’t even realize when we are in pain
How long will you be at war with yourself?
Torture yourself for your faults?
And then drown in them?
How long will it be before we understand?
And that just like millions of brown faces
You are just as lost as them
And I love you
Still.
Forgive, but don’t forget.
