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Some call me genius while others say I’m psychotically inclined
On how the mechanics of my mind, beautifully manufacture a well designed rhyme
In just about every line even if they sporadically radically seep out
Spewing forth quickly out from my mouth when channeled from my mind.
It’s as if my mind is blue print mathematically architecturally freemasonic
Neurological impulses creating messages move faster than lightning and surpassing the speed of sonic
I admit though that my personality is quite a rare breed oddity
So I try to utilize my various talents, to be used in the world economy as some wondrous commodity
I’m meticulously careful what and how I write, so I don’t appear to be speaking humanly sloppily
Conveying my thoughts as clearly as possible, so my intent is understood perfectly, probably!
And I try to be a man of modest honesty, honestly, but I fail to be the best of me daily – commonly.
It grieves me in my spirit and my souls’ dual duality, that I deal with reality
But woefully sprinkle some of my fantasy ideality
My daily ‘visuality’ doesn’t fit evenly with other minds conceptuality
Because my spirits perception has perceived plenty dimensional pluralities
And although I have Illumination, Eric, and SkTzO as some of my multiple personalities
I have overcome the vain banality, by using my poetic passion in creating poetic analogies
Emotional pageantries
Displaying lucid visions of intellectual and spiritual majesty
But my ‘Underlying Fear in my heart is to be of no importance, just some mundane regularity
Special to no one and be just another human with mere manhood fatality
Disappearing faith over the years made me feel like I lost my vitality
Yet my incredible hunger for ‘More than just Existing’, propels me to the highest morality
Worldly vice grip, gripped me, life nearly slipped me it encrypted me
I begged for peace of mind to ‘The Highest’, but instead He just gifted me
But the gift is a curse if it’s NOT financially lifting me
I can help or bless others only so much, but what about ‘My Own’ minds ability incredibility?
My heightened intellectual faculties have raised my lyrical ability comforted me in moments of horrendous disparity
I began to see reality with a little bit clarity, but I’m stuck running in place, in the same damn locality
But I keep my ‘Head Up’ no matter if life wages war on me, or shows me hateful hostility
Knowing I CAN and WILL overcome ALL levels of lack of tranquility
I swallowed my ego & pride many years ago, because I was forced to adhere to humility
And that’s probably the ONLY reason I still maintain some sensible stability
My minds creativity is my GREATEST asset and yet too, is my WORST liability
I can communicate anything in clear speech, but it means NOTHING, if there is no sensitivity
For too long I have been a mere man of pure intellectuality
Which has been a blessing to grant me much versatility in my personal actuality
The innate capability to psychologically relate to most of human reality
With the added ability to place myself in another persons mental modality
I am my own best friend and yet my very worst enemy
With ‘Dire Results’ internally for suppressed self enmity
For many years now, I have chosen to fight the beast within me bloodily angrily
Although I feel the burden on my shoulders daily, weighing me heavily
But I continue walking onward and upward slowly and steadily
Always preparing for the worst but hoping for the best readily
Intentionally pursuing to BETTER ME, through visual word play legibly
So I will be happy when I look back on my life, at how I elevated my own self incredibly
Conscious and unconscious desires cohesively creating and manifesting peculiarities
Focused using my visual cortex, my interdimensional minds vortex with great regularity
Particularly everyday specifically lyrically
Portraying the BEST OF ME so you don’t see the WORST OF ME pitifully
Highly positive on the surface constantly out of fear the old me will rise and be optimistically pessimistic
For that murdered son of a was killed and buried about 7 years ago, and I killed him sadistically
He had me face down to the pit dragging, while exhaling and bragging
Smirking, because he was able to bring down this Alien Helix Gemini visitor Annunaki dragon
For my one, two, and maybe even three polarities
Are the very core of my grammatical prosperity and my well intended vernacularity
For lack of enough strength using reinforced adamantium cage like mental prisons
I spit prisms, but remain caged in rage like a slave causing turbulent highly sustainable schisms
And I am realistically kind, honest, and forthright yet with the fear of my very core collapsing
Because I am NOT sure if I can endure more struggle, and I’m scared of relapsing
While the devil continues his pricking and prodding and his wicked snicker and laughing
I maintain the façade of calm and cool, while I compensate for what I am lacking
Lacking the ability to remain purely securely and one hundred percent sure
If I can continue to fight the multiple fights that were dealt to me and find the emotional cure
So that I don’t die being the laughing stock of my own self to my own self
I fight every second of my day and night making sure that I can continuously endure
And what’s more, is that I multiply my minds capacity with self influential tenacity
Because I need to fill my soul up with wisdom & power to cover the fact my soul has a ‘hole like’ cavity
So much strenuous effort and labor my whole life has been tediously manifesting tragedy
So I hide under the intellectual canopy so I don’t play the smallest violin and mourn sappily
I’ve gotten to where I am at; on many levels due to NOT allowing myself become a man of depravity
I have always peeked into the future and was able to already feel the situational gravity
Which if I went that route, would probably have led me to a completely different mind set capacity
But instead I chose to compartmentalize my multiple personalities to maintain a form of soul sanity
And that’s the ONLY true reason I can still communicate with other souls in humanity
Because I forcibly choose to remain isolated and keep away the potentiality
Of becoming a wicked man laughingly spewing forth wicked words horribly lavishly rapidly
So although I am who I became by mere specific well thought out choices
Confessing to thee, I had to fight off many undesirable wants and needs and shut out ‘The Voices’
Look at me today speaking honestly, valiantly, and yet grammatically tactfully
Because I - militarily minded tactically refuse to be a man of vanity or blasphemy
And forced my heart to soften, from a horrible past tragedy that nearly overcame me rapidly
And practically
I only exist to write this because I anxiously desire to NOT allow external forces take me and atrophy
Because that would only PROVE ME TO HAVE a disastrously haphazardly mentally weak faculty
And I prefer to fight and struggle daily for eternity for more than just generalities
Than to pretend to be the potentiality of a wicked me living with emotional agony
For that would be my potentially incrementally worst nightmare and not At All my best fantasy
And so at times lyrically, I may appear to disappear and be an emotional absentee
Revealing the weakness of self idolatry that strengthens me
Rather than show the pain that’s ‘Eating me Alive’ and nearly collapsing me savagely
Because I don’t need another self produced catastrophe as if I am lazily handling the agony
So to deter my mind from my own pain and anxieties I study and put forth a heart of philanthropy
To divinely wisen my soul, and fill me with a sense of higher morality with the potentiality
That I will raise my human rate mortality from a child of ghetto raggedy to a soaring spirit of chastity
So when you look - you won’t see me, my race, or creed
Or even take a moment to care of my Latino mixed with French roots nationality
But will ONLY see that which I desire the world to see, which is a single soul
Made up of thirty six years of fighting yet delighting in the universality of ‘his’ multiple personalities.
Eric Musse © copyright 2012
