Seems like God took His time to create, then berate & doubt me
So when I pass, please carry on without me!
For there is more to this life than a child of disdain
I do not want to be remembered for being a man of such pain.
I hope that when I pass
That at last
People will look into the times of the past
See moments of peace & moments of laughter
Not purposely seek for days of my weakness & iniquity
For that is something, a few may be after.
I have tried but been denied
And had defeated my ego & pride
But in the process
I was forced to lose any form of financial progress
And in the midst
I had swung but missed
Opportunities that could have uplifted
They were grabbed on and sifted
My minds capacity had then shifted
And here I am now
Wondering when, why & how
Should I waste any more time praying and been requested to bow?!
I now see clearly
That He who expects
Points out our humanity & defects
Then laughs at and rejects
For Him, from me there is no respect.
Because I lost the desire and prospect
And was looked down upon as a suspect
I have no desire any longer
Cause the God I once prayed to and worshiped
To me is a not only a liar but a warmonger
Creating internal battles and spiritual wars to supposedly build character traits
And in the process allows us to get vehemently mocked, scourged & raped!
I now have nothing but hate in my heart.
For God allowed nothing but suffering to encompass me
And all the while I prayed for help, He had already abandoned me
So I can now say easily and without sense of guilt
That who I am today is the man that God has built
So if He is not happy with His own mistake
Then He should take... Responsibility
Let Him suffer eternal damnation and deal with lack of spiritual tranquility.
Because the thought of me having wasted so much time on Him is what’s currently killing me.
Now the blood that’s spilling from me
Because loathing & rage is what’s currently filling me.
SkTzO