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Have you ever tried so hard to achieve and nothing but pain persists?
Makes you question everything including does God even exist?
And if He does, why doesn’t He bless any of my efforts & actions?
Seems like he wants me to suffer and causes me much more retractions!
I have gone to heart of the matter and have tried laboriously!
Yet due to my lack of success, I feel as if he looks down on me notoriously.
Try to be gregarious and at times I find our situation hilarious and too calculated.
Praying to God daily hoping He hears me, makes me get so irritated.
But I continue my trying in the midst of my spirit crying & slowly dieing.
Always asking God to bless my effort so I could bless my loved ones to be financially flying.
Keeping my eyes in the skies and on the prize as I never fail to strive.
Begging my heavenly father to bless me, my skills and give me reason to enjoy the purpose of being alive.
Although my greatest blessing, is the very seed that He bestowed upon us.
That doesn’t take away the fact that I want to give my family a life of comfort.
Everyday seeking and believing somehow continuously conceiving
That at any moment a grand blessing is what I will soon be receiving!
I work hard everyday trying to be the best man I could ever become.
But lately I admit, my souls emotions are slowly becoming numb.
Cause for so long I believe in the love of God yet got nothing but silence.
Has brought treachery to my heart and nothing but internal violence.
We awaken everyday with a new sense of hope & escape!
Wishing some godly superman would swoop down & save us with one swing of his cape.
Cause the situation has only worsened the more that we have believed!
And there’s a part of me that feels as I if we have been deceived.
What if God isn’t real and there’s no divine help ever coming?
And our future is like our present nothing but rain and no longer any sunning?
And the world just continues in its vices and its derogatory ways.
And me like an idiot still a waiting for Gods blessings to come down us as a sun’s rays.
Still debating as we’re waiting for the end of our pain.
If you see & hear me God, then please take away all of my sinister pain.
Cause everyday there is a growth of negative thoughts up in my brain.
And I slowly feel that I should be like the rest and become more profoundly mundane.
Although it’s such a vice of mine to succeed and to uplift the people for which I do care.
Give me the ability to use my skill - with the masses to share.
SkTzO
