didn't deserve to be lied to.
I didn't deserve to be a pawn in your game
I didn't deserve to be pushed back when I pulled you closer.
I didn't deserve to wait for a text or call. You were answered every time.
I didn't deserve to give you my concern when you didn't show it for me.
I didn't deserve to lay alone every night while your home unbotherd..
I really didn't deserve to open my heart to you when you knew I was broken.
I did and in return you thought I deserved to have it broken.
You stripped my desire to love and trust.
My smile is now untrusting and my heart has frozen.
I didn't deserve to trust you, support you or be the things you were missing.
I didn't deserve to have my feelings hurt because I loved you.
I didn't deserve to feel what I told you shattered me.
Moser3333
 3300
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I didn't deserve
CATEGORY
life
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COMMENTS
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2b2b2 says: Poignant purge....Write On....thanks for sharing! |
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Charles2 says: Having been there... requires major adjustments, no fun ...on this roller coaster... The harder you try, the farther ...you fall... |
OTHER POEMS WRITTEN BY Moser3333
Growing PainsIt's been awhile my minds just not mines. It belongs to everyone. I call myself having it together but together has me. I'm in a matrix and I can't seem to pull me together. I often wonder when did I lose me? A simple question with no actual answer just a question I guess. Life is lifing and I'm holding on to all I have Faith. I realized that many delays were on me, I've given so much of myself did I make myself available when I really wasn't needed. I remember being 16 and just like that Life really flew by. I really just try to live right and I can't complain this life has been great. I know I could have done more but at the moment I chose to feed the the tables around me I starved myself and for that I lost weight. Took a while but it's all catching up. As I progress I pray more and become more humble. Those quotes our parents say become a reality. And now we watch and reminisce about the old days. Just wishing we didn't have these Growing pains  |
WorthSo many tearing themselves down. Looking in the mirror and seeing a stranger. Tired of useless effort. Watching your smile fade. Pictures are what we use to be. Now I look at what we become. Never wanna point the blame. I'll tote that. Back has broken from carrying loads of promises unfilled. I wonder if your mind is gathering I held this life together. Alone. When your with someone else, do you care if I love you too. Now I'm left with what did I do? Asking myself did I push you away. How can I feel I did so much , maybe it wasn't mediocre. I can't detect the facts. Our signal has dropped and we don't connect. I feel unloved and unwanted. You showed me my worth |
When I'm done with youWhen I'm done with you no need to call or text. Way I see it I give the energy I'm given. I can be cordial with in reason. Keep it moving. Just know you sealed this fate. When I'm done with you don't go around my mom. She didn't ever care for you. Don't do it. When I'm done with you nah homie no loving.... We done done. When I'm done with you don't all of a sudden come clean... NVM.. When I'm done with you understand you lost a good one. Cause and effect When I'm done with you I'll never look at you the same again. When I'm done with you I won't cry in pain. I won't become bitter I will look at the opposite of you. When I'm done with you |
Wonder why Im who I'amAssuming will lead you wrong. So you judged me before you spoke to me. Heard a hot topic about me and bam you know my life. Even in my own mind I'm still alone. Ain't nobody calling or texting. Tired of being the shoulder and then looking ear to let go. Held in my feelings so my kids wouldn't see me cry. Being aggressive just came with time. Fed up with people taking me granted. Allowing my loyalty to be a side show. I feel violated mentally for thinking I'm making a difference. People have taken my last and passed me first. I've loved people that lusted me. Things like that never work out.. Some females deserve the name the react to. Sis this , sis that but you made your bed and you turned left. Can't be friends only goes I seen the gold they seek Do anything to have a peak. Self blame for being selfless. Every one is not good They are not the bright light you see. I've had those people to break my ambitious to care or give love. My heart is on life support. ... |
Show and Prove #BlacklivesmatterWhat's understood doesn't need to be explained. Stand outside and look in before you assume my character. Already convicted and sentenced. Serving time mentally trapped. Looked down at over a shade you can't identify with. Optimistic thoughts pushing on my ancestors spirituals. Gotta steal my success I paid for. Blood sweat and tears for a righteous way with illegal gain. That's the life I know. I can't afford your rich thoughts so I'll lay away and store my coins. Still feeling like I need to run and warn my children. Hide my husband. Sacrifice myself. Whose bus back seat will I sit on? Who will hear my dream? Will my actions have to be violence? By any means necessary? Has my black life matter? Will it matterd? Why can't my restitutions be my true freedom? Dragging chains and marks of society. How can I follow a road that's always blocked? Whose the real threat? My physical or my mental? |
QueenWhat are you worth? How much does your self respect cost? Don't mind me Queen just looking out. See you crying and you lying. Painting your face , who are you? Role model the truth instead live a lie. In the physical you smile You appear to be carefree. Worth has faded over time. What you accepted You now regret. Regards to the ones who got away. Karma for wanting a bad boy. Poor credit, past due accounts. Gotta rise up Bounce back Become reborn. Mind under construction To build the heart a better foundation. Rise to the throne Take place Be guided Be light Be life Give love Show power Queen |
ProceedIf you left do you think I'd care. Distance made my heart grow fonder. Looking in the mirror I'm not the same. Life tested me I win , I lost. Weighing the scale your heavy . I need to lose some weight. Lying and bribing me to advance. Still ground zero. I can't go on Leasing my time for free. In debt to none and owed by many. Spoken in silence. Butterfly effect has shaken our climate. Icy conversation with fire stares. Foot steps walk away never to return. Promises never kept Dreams are awaken in harsh reality. Once the person I hated I loves is now the person I have to turn my page on. No need to try we just need to proceed... |
Evil LoveYour no good for me. My mind ignores my heart. I continue to proceed. Days I swear I'm done You call I answer. Regret it later. Go back in my mind like I knew better. I never could deny you. Every word is always the truth. Grown and childish Amused and petty. Feel like I'm making excuses to have you near. Justifying when you neglect me. Words left a bruise Put a insurance policy on my heart died. Lay me down to "love" away the pain. Felt my tears on your chest. They singed. Yet you give all you have for the moment. All of a sudden we are in the moment. Ghostly your gone. Pierced mold of your shape. I failed again. Done with you and your evil love |
FreestyleAsking me where I been Who I been with You don't pay me any mind. Why do you care? Same conversation on deaf ears. Leaving and coming as you please. House is not a home Roommate? Friend or lover? Trying to trust you but your locked phone raises questions. Spam calls blowing kisses now. So numb to the distant love. I feel unattached. Window shopping for the long lasting taste of loyalty. Almost the sister of revenge. Ironically my flavor of taste would be the mirror effect of you. No explanations , no kisses of glue to seal the broken promises. Just shattered glass and ripped pictures. Me telling you how I need more and you saying how you can't give anymore.. No one is satisfied in our conclusion. Tears and blank stares from bullet truths Is it really over? Do you not love me? Do I not love you? A picture worth a thousand words is now a search for belonging. How would you know my love , when you never experienced it? The love that makes you live out things you d... |
Addicted to youThe time has come for things to be answered. Am I hoping you'll say the opposite of what I'm feeling. You've gotten silent and you look away. Right then my heart knew. You began to explain how I've changed and how im not the same. How could I be. I've sacrificed me , now you shun me. Smiling for a picture I'm not in. Pictures always perfect even when the knife is in your back. Betrayal , lust and envy. I hate her, she hates me and we both love you. Your rich with a poor soul. Draped in temptation every encounter is turbulent. I can't let go. I feel like I'm owed. What did I invest in? What am I doing? I need your energy I crave it. I'm trying to wing myself your a drug. Every hit pulls me back Stealing my focused Addicted to you. Memorized taken away I have to be done. Even if I'm addicted to you |