I feel like something is wrong with me because I can't connect to people anymore
I feel like something is wrong with me because I feel so empty when I used to feel so full
I lost two of my best friends maybe that's why I'm so closed off now
They both took their lives and it has got me feeling like how..?
Or better yet why?
Cause for the life of me, I can't understand why they left me here to die.
They left me here alone...its not too many of us..
No kind-hearted selfless individuals who you can trust
I'd kill to have them back, I'd kill to change their minds.
I'd kill just for them to know that I would of never left their side
But I feel like I've failed them
I feel so weak
Because when they needed me, I was too busy focused on me.
And now I'm stuck without them
Picking up the pain they dropped off before they chose to go
Feeling disconnected from the world but in my face it doesn't show.
Maybe it was meant to be,
Maybe I can handle it
Maybe my purpose was to bear all their burdens because they couldn't carry it
But if that was the case
Then god give me strength
I'm missing my friends every day and I just can't pretend.