I went out to one of my favorite restaurants one time and got one of my favorite meals, shrimp and grits with bacon bits, a sprinkle of cheese, and a water with no lemon, when the bill came it read $27.95, and I left the waiter a five, later on when I got home I saw I was blasted on facebook for not honoring great service along with the line, if you can't afford to tip, then don't go out to eat, now I'm not a rocket scientist, nor do I have a PhD, but I coulda swore I was supposed to afford the meal when I go out to eat, but since we are on tips, let's talk about tips, no one gives tips to underpaid teachers on how to handle oversized classrooms with improper tools for teaching, cause reaching 50% of those kids whose fathers aren’t in their lives, a few tips shoulda been giving to those men, wear condoms, don’t plant a seed in a garden if you aren’t going to stick around and nurture that plant til its full growth, here’s a tip for women, stop spreading your legs to every tom, and harry, cause some of those dudes is bisexual cause low key tom is ing harry, or you end up with three boys named tom, and harry, and no father for three boys is scary, here’s a tip to police officers, just because it’s black doesn't mean it is justified to be shot, you are supposed to be a peace officer, police doesn't mean ***ing with po people leased out by rich folks, and if you are simply a cop cause you got bullied as a kid, here’s a tip, boxing lessons, a tip to transgenders, stay in your own ***ing lane, I dont give a damn about your sex change, but you are still biologically a man or a woman, compete and fight against what you were born as, and please don't ask me to love for who you are when you didnt even love yourself for who you were, tip, stop saying white kids who shoot up schools are mentally ill, but black kids who shoot each other are simply animals, most domestic terrorists have been of caucasian persuasion, and you will never see black folks shooting up a movie theatre ever, cause at $12.95 a ticket, 9 dollars for a bag of popcorn, 4 bones for some peanut butter m&m’s, and the gas money we spent to get to that mutha***a, we have spent too much damn money to be shooting up anything, we gone watch this damn movie, to congress, here’s a very much needed tip, do your actual ***ing job, I am tired of seeing wealthy snobs stay for four, six or eight years and do nothing, but speaking of nothing, normal people, get up off yourand vote, stop doing nothing, yes the president is selected not elected, but the rest of them bastards can kick rocks, white people, stop standing at the edge of the grand canyon rocks and fallin, the gate is there for a reason, mexicans, keep crossing the border, this land was yours to being with and the same people tryna keep you out were immigrants back in 1619, major tip, sugar does not go in greens, spaghetti or grits, do not ask for ketchup for ya hotdog in chicago cause it will get you killed, shags are only cool in dallas, but back on another tip, if you have a job, do not complain about the amount of a tip, Jesus only ask for ten percent and I’m supposed to give you half of my mortgage, get the *** outta here with the bull, last tip, live in your truth, because we have become accustomed to the lies of social media, their lies have become their lives, and they thinking that what they believe are facts, they spit they opinions for likes and shares, I spit mines to add monetary gains for my welfare and to pay for my airfare so folks in different cities across america can come to my show, sit down and stare, we are not the mutha***in same
Artist JoeMac
 19300
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Books Written By Poet
TIPS
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OTHER POEMS WRITTEN BY Artist JoeMac
2020I’m not gone talk about Kobe dying in a helicopter crash, I’m not gone talk about Chad, as he lays the same as his egyptain ancestors, crossed arms, embezzled in a tomb, waiting to cross into the afterlife, nah, I’m not gone talk about Father John, meaning John Thompson, who had me thinking Georgetown was the most gangsta HBCU, he was the reason I started wearing grey and blue, see skip all that, I’m not gone talk about George Floyd either, or the eight minutes and forty six seconds, just let me go off for about three minutes, with a grace period of maybe ten seconds, cause see corona may have taken the world by storm, but they have trying to eradicate this virus called my Blackness for multiple centuries now, they took all precautions, wearing masks, made of white cotton with two eye slots so when they seen us in public, it was six feet minimum, stay away from the s, we have to keep our social distance because if they achieve social justice, we can no lon...  |
Being Me...This white guy, runs up to me after one of my shows and says man, I wanna be just like you, I asked why, he said man you speak with authority and command a rooms attention, I said thanks, He says man, you just look like the type to keep a beautiful woman by your side, I said yea that’s me, and thanks again, finally he says man, I wish I could be exactly like you, that’s when I paused and asked him do you really wanna be this, would you really be willing to give up your privilege to walk down the street in a nice neighborhood at two in the morning without a neighbor calling the police on you, just to carry this pigment in your skin, do you really wanna mark your body up with artwork that is nothing more than the last screams of dead Black men gunned down by police, criss crossing my arms and ending at my chest because they hoped that my cardiac could provide their last breath, do you really wanna walk a mile in my shoes, because Black men don’t walk, we are accus... |
PedophileThere he go girl, oouuu he so clean, oouuu I’m just gone wait for him to pull up, nah by, I don’t want you, you a lame a** dude, you get good grades, but he got the box Chevy on the deuce deuces, twenty two's, it’s amazing that his rims match his age, but hers is seven years his junior, may I also add the fact that she is only a junior in high school, see she was smart enough to skip a grade but not intelligent enough to recognize statutory rape, now maybe you can blame this on parents who rely on television to raise their seeds, failing to see that the light from the TV is only visible when the lights are out, and no flower has ever grown properly in darkness, you can maybe blame the child, who carries herself as a young princess around the king and queen who created her, but becomes a peasant in the midst of the her project court jester girlfriends, who know nothing else but to entertain and play the fool, or we can just blame the predator, who’s pea... |
Depressed State of MindPeople wanna know what depression looks like, it comes in the form of casual clothes, normal acting, socializing with friends, hahaha, how you doing, man yea I seen that s**t last night, boy I had to cuss my boss out yesterday, gone tell me some s**t, I was like f**k you, hahaha, then, there’s the ride home, there’s no more friends, there’s no more music for your heart to line dance too, there is no more women to feed the overweight ego you sometimes have as a man, that friend who keeps you in check like a pair of nikes is gone and ironically yo mama named you timbaland, so the phrase if the shoe fits wear it got a whole other meaning for you, you insert the key into ya front door and pause, because you know with the next right turn, s**t is gonna go way left, welcome, you are back in the hellhole that even the devil vacated, misery stands on its own two feet from the couch, applauding, because it has missed its nightly company for the past few hours, here n***a... |
The Oscars
I don’t talk about celebrities, I mean, I got way more content in my arsenal than to shoot shots at those who consider my bank account target practice when they’re bored, but today, I'll make an exception, see for once I grabbed the tabloid papers, fed into the gossip, TMZed my TV for hours with bowls of popcorn because someone else’s misery became my company in the living room, and I know me paying attention turns into their paid attention, but the cost of this celebrity’s life was priceless, and there it was, right there on the front paper, in bold words, coming to a screen near you, BLACK MAN KILLED IN COLD BLOOD, now this may sound like a common occurrance, but trust me, this celeb is known worldwide and this is by far the summer blockbuster we all have been waiting for, the minute he steps out his front door, flashes are snapped, enhancing his image with special effect blood and holes that no green screen on earth could create, ca... |
TwinsMy mama had two boys at birth and we were both separated, identical twins yearning for a brotherly bond that we only achieved in our dreams, then, I remember the day it happened, we connected after 30 plus years..on facebook..he sent me a DM saying brother meet me at the taco shop, see I liked his taste already, upon greeting I was astounded, we both had the same scar on our right jaw, we both talked out the side of our mouth, we both had that missing patch of hair, yea right there in the middle, just like our daddy, but there were a few differences, he said brother I’m gay, I said ok, I’m straight, he said I let these dreads hang to never forget our ancestors who were hung so we could have better, I said I keep these waves to never forget how we were brought over here on boats with that trans atlantic slave trade, he say I have no tattoos because you never see a bumper sticker on a bentley, I said I have twenty six of em, because you never saw a wall in a pyramid tha... |
Color BlindWhen people say I don’t see color, I look at em like do you have cataracts mutha***a, I mean when I look at a I see that it’s pink, when I look at the sky I see that its Blue, and when that orange muth***a starts talking I just cut the tv off, see when you combine your red, white and blue its makes purple, to match the color of bruised brown skin when it encounters blue klansmen, with gold badges, who have active greenlights on you from the time you walk down your concrete grey steps, they watch you jump into you white car, and that better be the only white yo blackever get into, or they’ll milk the color red from your forehead as if it were the rose colored titties sitting at the bottom of the cow, whose skin also defines their racist ways because all major cities in America love their majority white population, but those patches of black land are the badlands, or the other side of the iron colored tracks, so tell me how this color blindness of yours exist, c... |
Corona2020 was like a earth sized version of the Maury show, I waited for the results to see was I responsible for this madness caused, and then came the card, when it comes to baby Corona, JoeMac, you are not the father, oh , I wanted to run around on stage and then through the crowd, high fiving s who on any other day I would probably avoid, I watched baby girl take off backstage and I swear for the life of y’all, that hallway is 100 yards long before they even reach that couch, but then I looked at baby corona, sitting their lonesome, and I realized how much the virus of human life can cause social distancing amongst two people who once came together to create, fathers keep a minimum distance of 10 feet from the tree that sprouted in the garden they planted a seed in, but on the flip side, some mothers remain in permanent quarantine, keep would be daddies away at all times, saying for the safety of MY child, we will remain in house, purposely locking daddy out when he tryna pu... |
Black and ServingMy friend asked me what it's like to be Black and to serve, I said, it’s kinda like being the kid that no one really wants to be around, but your parents bought you all of the cool toys, so they allow you to play in their barbed wire playhouse, make you feel like you have all the friends in the world, I mean nah, it's kinda like being a blood, because you can shed blood on bloody battlefields, but the minute you get home the boys in blue is after you, and maybe they crippin, I mean trippin, but the navy floats on blue seas under blue skies so maybe that's why they bang on us, a military ID can’t save us even when we walk through the gates, cause two strikes have been placed in the spot of your rank insignias, snipers with their rifles stand watch on the tower locked and loaded, waiting for the order to fire until someone comes across their radio channel and says hold it, he’s one of the good ones, don’t shoot, and I put my hands up out of fear ... |
My Dreads...I still got a good amount of hair on my head for a 35 year old, I look at some cats from my high school class and that has disappeared like the looks and body shape of the popular girl senior year, some linings have been pushed back like black folks at the bank, applying for a business loan, and yes, I don’t have a full head of waves any more, but there are still a few ripples up there which allow me to swag surf on microphones, I am grateful I can still put a stocking cap on after greasing my to step out the door in a suit, take my woman out on a date so I can see her walk that walk in those heels, because I may have lost some of my hair at 35 but I still haven’t lost my ability to ***, so I’m grateful, and in the good book my man Samson’s strength was in his hair, then Delilah cut it, so maybe that’s why some Black students are told that you can’t walk across this stage until you are trimmed up, nice and neat, meet the standards that won&rs... |