it's not an ego trip

W.I.P

It may seem like I fell off the wagon, that my train went off track.

But I was never gone so this is not labeled my comeback. It is merely a continuation,

I'm picking up where I left off, like i was stuck in suspended animation.

Could not move forward without a re-assessment, checked on some issues in which I had

investments. Cut some ties now my weight has lessened...Learned and taught some Lessons.

Yes! School has been in session and for a minute my mental and physical has been tested.

Health was questioned, doubt set in...second guessing.

F.A.T

You look at me and say I am FAT!

There is no doubt about that.

I own it in fact!

Funny, Attractive,Talented

That is Me...F- A -T.

You say I am cute for to be BIG!

Didn't know cute came in only size twig!

Hay go fig. I'm Beautiful, Intelligent, Giving

That is me B- I- G.

You say my smile is pretty but my face is so ROUND!

Do not get me started on how that may sound...but

True to form my face is Radiant, Outstanding,Unblemished,Noticeable,Dimpled

That is me R- O- U- N- D.

In no way am I conceited

just flipped terms that had self esteems deleted!

You see those words were used to define an outward look,

but you can't glance at the cover and think you know the contents of the book!

.

it's not an ego trip

It's not an ego trip, just our faith in our Black Men has slipped into a depression. You used to be Kings now your value has lessened.Most assumptions are based on what is viewed and frankly most Men's mentals are skewed. You win the bread but don't want to feed us because society says "women, you can never trust", and because you are able to provide what some can't..."Golddigger" is our label!

Yeah I am a little biased you see I'm a single mother whose childrenAre getting let down by a Brother! He always gives that famous line " I love my kids, they are the reason I breathe"but never calls to see how they be. Food on the table, clothes on their backs, shoes on their feet... I bought that! Homework, birthdays,concerts and plays, Eczema flare ups,Asthma attacks and Hospital stays...while he is at home, I struggle alone. 

Yes we are disillusioned by lies and confusion so forgive me for refusing to be just another conquest. "White Man's" rap! Give it a rest. It ...

Lupus...my curse

Sleep walking, gone off subliminals, sounds form but never pass my lips, need to check my trigeminal, nerves crossed like fingers, inhibition lingers, my CNS has PMS! Body stays in constant fight or flight, it is a literally battle between Death and Life! Pain intense, talking 5 notches past immense; no meds strong enough to dull this. Seems like Flare Up is my Middle name, engulfed in heat, spontaneous combustion with no flames! Irritation brings on exacerbation, buterfly masked facial expressions...Zyrtec and Beny lace my purse but that is not the half of Lupus, my curse

 Inflammation all over agitation, systemically body working against me...why is this happening, getting attacked by known pathogens, wish I could break away, be free, but how? When the problem is me?

The Rebuttal

Wow this ish just got deep! Who knew poets beefed? Well I guess I'm that Heifer, go ahead and send me to slaughter make me a martyr, I'll just reincarnate and come back as your daughter, and go hard because this here page is my new yard. Yeah I'm new, but who are you to test my real? How the hell you claim I don't feel? Is it because I choose simplicity over intricacy? MotherGoose got a book deal didn't she?
I mean no harm and have the utmost respect for those who pioneered and are worthy of the phrase Vets, but your criticism does not validate or intimidate me by far...My Flow and Talent need not to be like yours! You think you set the Bar? your bubble just got burst, this is my universe and i create the stars!
So what I'm green to written expression, I welcome your disection...I'll print my ish out and give you a red pen and let you get to checkin, pick apart my rhymes section by section...I'll analyze take in the lesson and spit it back at you with the correctio...

untitled

I thought the way of it all was to build walls. A wall around my Heart to keep out hurt. A wall around my Mind to not be taken advantage of. A wall around my body to keep in angst. But with one look you disarmed my physical shield. The intensity of your gaze pierces right thru to the center of me...Shuddering now...With your tongue you spit droplets of knowledge,sarcasm, and truth filled lies. My mind was introduced to seduction...In sets Destruction...Body aching for a touch, mind preoccupied with thoughts of you. The walls now doors that you easily pass thru. afraid yet willing to give you my Heart. Fire that burns...The ice melting starts and the flood begins! Emotional tides rising never falling. Me without a life raft, getting pounded by the surf of want, dragged under by the riptide of deceit, and finally carried away by a current of wishfulness...The waters still for a moment, time to gasp for air, grasp for clearity. Head above water now and easily treading only to get su...