500
My Faith was first distant, self-judged and aloof
it was stereotyped, narrowed and over-analyzed
A distant historical experience of my father's brought it to its knees
faith without works is dead, but much mischief has been worked in its name
Once it was disguised by a sense of community
So easily its presence went unknown
I left behind my ridicule, an old shield after the ending of war
and wrote promises in stone
I had faith in making promises to myself;
and truly evidence did abound
Why would strength in one area not beget strength in another?
Faith was promise minus reality
A promise of sex can dwarf sex;
A promise of success can dwarf success
I was too young to know what to promise myself
And reaping too many accolades to question my motivation
A star is brightest before it dies;
exploding then imploding
I kept my brightness hidden and forgot where to look
and ran from the falling debris
Who can fight a war with no enemy, hospice, or direction
but i can breathe in and out
chop wood and carry water
Light the fire and lift up stones
Yes I saw full days behind closed eyelids
Yes I found monsters under my bed
Yes I thought misery was other people
Yes I forgot the joy of good surroundings
Yet Inside of this hole i found another who held a light
From a deeper hole he came
I found faith in a community
And all that came was already inside of me
Stillness should run through my fingers like flowing water
I want to cup them and control the flow
I should let the water run its course
But that is not interesting is it?
I exist below a merry-go-round covered in skull and bone
in motion all is a blur of features
each crying look at me or I will die a slaughter
at rest i am a still pond hugging a single stone
Power came to me from escape, pain and cold
each of which became my teachers
A cramp in my hand meant I let go of the water
for it is not mine to hold
