Here’s how you can learn how to swim
First you must jump in
Swallow water, stinging eyes
Tread by moving your arms, feet, and thighs
Close your eyes and hold your breath
Practice the four strokes: crawl, butterfly, back, and breast
Cup your hands and push the water back
Stab the surface with your hands in lieu of a smack
Do the same when you dive
Don’t welcome the pool with two high fives
Rather cut the surface palm over palm like your arms are knives
When all else fails and you lose control
Roll over onto your back, push your chin and butt up, and move your arms and legs around slow