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Feeling like it’s been a waste of time of mine to utilize my mind.
Trying to be a light to those whom are blind.
But it must be that I myself am so blind to have any truth find
Can’t be found no matter what how sight & sound remain in the ground
I am truly confounded because I thought the truth and peace was once founded.
On the principles of love and peace and all effort gives automatic mechanic results
Buts it’s been an insult to see no result
And although my arms are flailing in the depths of the sea cause the deeper it gets I can no longer swim
Its looking kind of grim, relying on him has only caused me to lose my tenacity & vim.
It’s been wasted time to have sit down and prayed for so much time assuming he will unwind
And somehow intertwine the powers of my mind with his mind that’s infinitely divine.
It’s now the 5th of November and I look back and remember
That I had better times with out having you on my mind.
Once again, I feel it’s like wasted time to have assumed you would help
But rather you eat at my soul and my spirit you consume.
Stupid of me to presume or assume in the measure of my person
Sitting here cursing while simultaneously dispersing words of promise
I honestly admit that I feel you weren’t honest nor do you continue to be real
I was once full of zeal for you to heal
But the more I suffer the more I see & feel
That you actually don’t reveal much
But do more to look away and conceal.
Feeling ignorant and dumb
Stupid and emotionally numb
Spitting forth lyrics of gin & rum
I admittedly want to end it with a gun.
Getting drunk on my own words of agitation
You have yet to step in and offer healing in our situation.
But I do also wonder and take in all the awe of your power.
Realizing that there is an intelligent force
That’s in the midst of our obstacle course.
And so of course, I abhor the forced detour
But yet somehow feel you will soon come and heal
Show yourself to be real
And not only you but the promises you’ve for so long offered
To show, and allow me to eat at the future heavenly meal.
It’s already been proven & demonstrated
That I do so much better alone & isolated.
Obviously I’m not important to you like your Sabbath day to have me consecrated
You either allow or are a part of allowing me to get desecrated
My flesh has been cremated
And my soul burns in its torturous chamber of pain
I thought by choosing you as my Lord
That you would sit on the throne of my life and reign
Either you ignored my sincere prayers
Or allowed Satan to overwhelm my life with pain
In either circumstance
Honestly speaking, technically
You, are fully to blame!
SkTzO
