Suicide
Feeling trapped in time and space, No where I am going, and I feel like no one really sees my face
Am I really in existence, is there purpose to my life, how do I change the world I live in, do I except my fate or do I just refuse to try, what would make you really see me, how do I get you to look me in the eyes, what would make you see that I am worthy, because I am more than the moments you despise, while I am apparently still growing I deserve far more than your lies
How often have you watched me crying and never stopped to feel my pain, do you ever think that sometimes, there is a reason that I venture outside into the rain, what would make the storms stop calling, what would make me turn away, how do I make you understand that, your love is all I need to make me what to stay,
I really, really don’t understand how you think that I should be, what you think that it would take to save me, because what I really desire is to be free, free from all that makes me worry, wondering what it is that I should do, wondering if anyone really loves me, trying to hold on too anything I think is true,
What, what, what would I ask of you, what do you really think of me, If I took back all the control you’ve stolen, and I changed it to suit my reality, what, what would I ask of you, what would make you see I am beyond the lessons that you have taught me, and I have learned that what I really need is peace
I don’t need a heavy heart, or mind that’s molded in cement, I don’t need a soul that’s damaged what I need to realize is that I’ve been heaven sent, I am, I am so much more to you, than the pretty face that is looking back, I am a perfect work of art dear, and today I choose to be happy where I am at, I am okay this day I can say, because my value is more than you can decide, I am a worthy adversary and I am happy because I cloth myself in pride,
Knowing that you have come to challenge me but I won’t let you break my stride, I will embrace this place, elated by the ride, I will embrace and celebrated every moment that I have cried because It was in those very moments that the weakness in me died, and strength took me to those places that only the strong can go, and all those that came to push me, pushed me straight into life’s colorful and awesome flow, you thought you had me questioning everything that I know, a girl came to you but as woman I will go, answering the questions that beckoned at my mind, had me wondering about my purpose, but I realize alas the answers are only mine
You are the answer to all your questions, Love You!
1ldvirtue
 14200
|
|||||||||||||||||||||
you need to login or register to leave a comment
Suicide
CATEGORY
life
Views: 109
You must be registered to leave a comment. Registration is FREE.
COMMENTS
No comments. Be the first to enter a comment.
OTHER POEMS WRITTEN BY 1ldvirtue
Power in the wordWe don't have to put men down to lift ourselves up. Women have a purpose. God has a plan still. And heresy is not the man that understands the responsibility of the head. We are failing them. We have failed them. The comments say alot more about this gender as we should take responsibility for the way men fail. A lot fall at our feet as we have not provided for the majority what they need in women nor who they should mimic in men. We as female have not provided ourselves as role models. I apologize for that and I take responsibility because as broken as I was I shouldn't have ever been a parent. I shouldn't have even been a wife. I should have layed at the feet of God and prayed until I was broken no more or at the least been capable of any of the many roles in life I've taken. I apologize to those I've failed. I apologize to myself because who I see looking back carried my bruised and battered body for me. She carried my soul and placed my spirit aside. She asked God to protect me...  |
Hating GodSociety teaches children to hate God not church. All Churches should have a ministry designed to feed the entire family yet all do not. Church should be an obligation and it is the parents responsibility and anyone sitting here that doesn't require their children to do what they are told are failing thier children. There are no social workers here as I can tell by the responses because structure is what is lacked here. Like your children will resent you either way if resentment is what they see. Children mostly mimic the behavior of the family. There are far to many children given choices and this gives way to unrealistic thoughts of reality. The holy spirit isn't telling anyone to allow thier childhood to sit at home. We assemble ourselves to worship God because man was not made to stand alone. Witnessing God work from the pew is not forcing him down another's throat its making sure your child understands that in adversity that the spirit gives us hope. He's not saying that we ma... |
ENVY OR IGNORANCEIf you know what people say in your absence youd stop smiling with lots of people: my response Or smile more. Most only hold a conversation out of envy or ignorance. Something about you just annoys another. Something in the way you move just sets the tone because your way effects all others. Ignorance says you don't know me and you'll never understand my sacrifice because the knowledge comes when one pushes pass desire as a choice to live one's on life. Its not about you, as simple as it seems, knowing we leave examples so we set aside some dreams. We make God bigger then our wants. We don't force our free will. We are Queens in more then titles to encourage says we won't. We won't fear. We won't run, we will firmly stand our ground. We will Wrestle with discouragement yet we refuse to allow these inner wars to hold us down. We will refuse to speak to disillusion. Her lies won't fine our ears. We remove disappointed because she has clicked up with dream killers and there's no plac... |
Be more than the moment we metcan we be more than the night that we meet, can we be more then the dreams that we dream, can we be more then the things that we say, we are so much more then the life we convey so what do we do right now, standing all alone and proud, with no one here to take my hand. while I am dreaming of a pair of eyes that understand that we must be more then the night that we meet, we must see things in a better reality, where people walk together as one, where laughter gave birth to the best kind of fun, where a tickle was no more then a smile heard all over the land, and women enjoyed the feel of a man. Can we go back to that perfect place in time, where it was alright to bask in the light, where your shine was part of your flow and dreams gave details to goals, how do i question the timing today where women have lost their purpose or ability to stay, we no longer weather the storms as they come, we all just pick and run, I am just saying , tears falling from my eyes, li... |
I hate himI HATE HIM BECAUSE HE COULD NOT BE WHAT I NEEDED HIM TO BE, I know it sounds silly, and I sound spoiled but for some reason men seem to think that sex is the thread that keeps a relationship bound together, when it is the integrity of the man not even the intelligence of a man, I don't know what ignorant woman makes a mans lack of integrity okay, and how intelligent would A MAN need to be not to questions the validity of such a thought, it was created by some deprived female that does not realize that a lack of integrity is cancerous to a man soul, it is like you taking his free will and tossing all his dreams away, and as bad as companionship is needed a man that is not whole is not a man at all, and a woman that is not motivating him to be more then the moment they met is not a woman that is flowing in her purpose, she has no ideal of the WISHES she can evoke, she is unaware of the dreams she can help him paint, the vision she can help HIM TO create, she in not conscious to her... |
Show upGet up, Show up, be present in the gift the presence is. I mean really be there involved and connected to the moments so that you can recall even the smallest detail which can be as simple as a frown or another straighting your Crown. Say what you feel but always speak in love because for must the difference in a sisterhood or an enemy can be found and felt in an authentically given hug. So show up for you. Show up for me. Show up for us. See the we that together we will be. One is a group of two or more where we show up to repair the scars that come war. Where we fell and got up again. Found what we share to embrace an end. So get up and involve your light. Revive the vision that trade what was from day to night. Live the moments like they are the last knowing none are promised but when wasted can't be brought back. |
To my younger selfTo my younger self Slow down, Listen for the whispers in the direction of your thoughts. Refuse to entertain pain taking in consideration that experience earned is never lost as good advice given must come as knowledge gained. Remember the colors change when the lights come on and being part of the solution is the only way to right a wrong. Speak your truth. Never succumb to the status quo because you are more than the skin you rock and the things others think they know. You are not a square but a star others are attempting to push into a box. Most refuse to understand the unique swing of my God spun all natural loxs Younger self I apologize to you. If I had known the thing I know, I'd taken better care of you. So girl let's start the journey over again with all new point of view I apologize |
Bringing her out of the DarknessSome time you just need to stop. Moving without breathing is more than refusing to exhale. Searching for meaning at my age feels like wading through hell. Some think they understand when the problems not you. It's hard to see beyond the pain felt by others when to struggles is all two can do. Superficial smiles decorate photos that creep in past dawn. It was Me trying to catch you with two broken arms. I stood alone across from a maze like a rat caught in a trap where all I desire is for a better day. Like the days in my dreams where I get my heart fulfilled and I awake from this nightmare to anything real. I wanted him more than I wanted myself. To be with him I placed my dreams on a shelf. I pushed down my hopes. I barrier them deep. I have outstretched my arm into the darkness but my wish is far from reach. I heard myself say it would never be me than I lost my way because I allowed my other to lead yet he was leading me down a road filled with holes and with him as my example I ... |
Some kind of DarknessAuntie it's not that kind of Darkness. Its a darkness that was born the moment I pulled down the shades, shutting myself into mask someone else's pain. I think it's the mother in me that desires to fix what others refuse to believe. I have a need to save the world and it angers my soul that people mistreat one another to beget an internal war. Setting us up to walk into walls where hope is the illusion as pain paints the way to a fall, and God made me in away where I see their stories and come to save the day. I didn't mean to get so caught up but unbeknownst to me I fell in love. I intertwined his pain with mine and for a time it felt sublime yet now that reality bewitched by sorrow who invited the mistress of limited forgiveness showed up we lost the intention and never looked up. The anvil was hanging just over head and I lost my balance knowing to die is not necessarily to be dead. The casket nailed shut. We are lowered to the ground while one got up the other refuse to make a ... |
The American Dream, A lie or a schemeYou ever wanted a thing so bad that the thought of losing it before you even have it makes you mad. Do you ever dream beyond the moment of conception with the intention of having better things. I ask God so many questions because I just want to know what it all means. Looking over life wondering how women can take on so many roles. We have pushed up those around us while not losing sight of our own goals. I wasn't prepared for this life with so many fires to put out. Where we speak life into existence but we are never taught how. Where we as individuals should be allowed to determine our own worth yet we don't understand this that our value can't be decided on earth We are not told in our formative years that fears is no more than a mindset. That negative is cultivated as a jacket we wear out of fear. Fear of not fitting in. Not looking like her. Not moving like them, not conforming to the world. Peculiar is a world to describe the within. The part of us that we push down because ... |