Choices

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life

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Choices I walked threw a life that goes unrehearsed, I don’t remember the last moment or the moment before that, I thought it didn’t matter so I never looked back, I just pressed on, I pressed on with the attitude that I made the rules and if the rules were not made up by me then they didn’t matter at all, I call my graceful fall the weight of it all because no matter what was to happen it wasn’t going to be my fault. So who destroy me, who told me it was okay to give up and that love was an illusion, that it was made up, made up by those that set traps for the scorpions in the sand. I was reluctant to take a stand, tired of the hands that reached up with the appearance of hope while holding a rope that would pull me up the tree to hang me till my dreams swayed in the sky of an altered reality. I was lost in a world where poverty set in my door way and greeted me at the end of a hard fought day. She made every excuse to lose, that would give validity to her situation that she refused to embrace as a choice. she walked through life screaming insanity so others could hear her voice. Who is she? She blames her past for a future gone bad because it is all she knows how to know. We blame the system for her irrational thinking, then step to governmental bars because that is what we rather do. Welfare lines and employment for food signs litter our roads with goalless souls that push down their intended purpose because it is easy to look forward when we never take responsibility for those that watch us die in this type of prison reform. We give no consideration to those that would find comfort in these empty arms. We are far too relaxed in our thinking that the world owes us a planned, we have this entitlement issue that governs what we understand, and we refuse to hold accountability by the hand. We watch our parents take what they could from a world that never seen them approach. We fail to reason that we are born, a cause to help them cope, one child at time in a world that sees our ranting a joke. So we just complain, We never imagine their selections, never understanding we to get wet when standing out in the rain, we only know that she could never be me, I am far to advance in my thinking to be enticed by her reality, never realizing we live both in the same world. But I will elect to stand back and watch her dreams swirl, swirl out of control, and she will in her presence send a message to a future that waits in anticipation to be born, this does not cause you alarm, One can’t fathom the harm, you don’t see her coming in like a storm, taking wishes hostage in an attempt to convince you that you have no self-worth, but still you rehearse for an existence that you refuse to changed, generation after generation calls out in terror, lacking direction in a hopeless scurry of night mares that promise no mystic rain, but you won’t look back, they just fall by the way side, and you didn’t imagine a place where responsibility for your past was a possibility, because tomorrow just wasn’t’ promised to you, so I did not think in the moment that my children thought they could walk this life like me, and never did I imagine their choices thinking they would desire one day to be like me, I just roamed the halls of loneliness hoping that reality would never knock on my door, who would it find as it tapped, and with horror all my dreams soared right passed me, out into a place where I had no control because outside this place there are no rules for me to contemplate, no disguise, just her and I, excuses, timeless tales of worries that lay traps but keep one from looking back, I am not sure if it is fear that keeps us from turning around, but we must understand we all when falling, fall on the very same ground, and who judges us from the peak of the hill, will tells us how much better the view is from the top, through the journey can seem surreal, but you did not invite us to come, you left never looking back to even see if we could handle the weight of the pull, you just kept a pace that to those without fortitude would find cruel, you left them never thinking what they would do, and now they make up the rules, thinking I made the rules and if the rules were not made up by me then they don’t matter at all, I call my graceful fall the weight of it all, because no matter what was to happen it wasn’t going to be my fault, And soon it will affect you to, it affects us all, our choices…