What I am feeling goes beyond the words of a song, and I wrote to you for a hour to look up to find the words had gone.
I am afraid while I feel what you do, I am lost in what i see, yes I want to care for another, but this goes so far beyond me.
I thought some years ago that forever was mine, no matter the challenge forever my love would shine, forever I would be held and forever love would be, but today I realize forever I have lost the hope that gives one the desire to even seek.
I knew at a time forever I'd be complete unto myself, flowing with another, two hearts uniquely yoked, however it seems forever laughed in my face. taking my dreams to a different place, making them a joke,
Today I am fine with that, and yes I have seen you peek out in my dreams, but that in and of itself can mean so many things.
Yes I desire what I do not know, but there has to be more to make me venture into that great unknown.
Today was awkward to say the least, I heard your voice in my heart like a dream, and I thought about you till my tummy hurt but I must be cautious, I am a grown woman and while it is nice to play, I can not pretend that you positively perhaps can just give your love away.
I told you who I am, and trusted you with my dreams but I know that this is more than I can do.
I think you need someone different, another who will truly love you, and yes I could love you, we both know that the potential is there, but I care enough about you, so much that I want this to be handled with the utmost care.
Please don't get me wrong I have thought long and hard and do not want to destroy a thing before it starts.
I think my greatest fear is that I will let you down and all that we share will come tumbling to the ground and you mean so much to me and I just want the best of the best for you.
That is the type of friendship I offer, the kind that knows that loving another goes beyond a selfish thought and you have so much potential, so much has not surfaced and while I'd like to share in it all, I do not want to ever hurt you and I want to know your smile.
From my heart I pray you joy, and A Forever Love, I speak into existence everything you need, even if it mean you love beyond me.
Today, I thought about your lips on mine,
I could almost feel the comfort of your hand as our fingers intertwined, I could feel you breath at the back my neck, but reality brought me back and it keeps my desire for you in check.
Yes I am afraid of what I am feeling, but only words could convey, I want you too, but I don't think it is suppose to be this way.
Forever is all that I've desire, that love that reaches past the confides of a mind, many ask for love, more need something else but how many offer forever, only Jesus himself