700
I relied on my own strength to resist the devil
which was my first mistake
Temptation dangling like diamonds in front of my face
Shiny and inviting like the knowledge
growing out of the branches of the forbidden tree
It's almost too easy
to prove how weak
I am
How feeble my willpower is
So much so that when I
try to squeeze the word
that I can do all things through Christ
I bruise my palms
The words piercing through my flesh like thorns
What happened to my thick skin?
Where is my spirit woman to the rescue?
The one whom I thought I refined through fasting and prayer?
Am I delusional to believe
myself to be this new creature?
For what evidence do I have except that of failure
looking upon it with my own blood on my hands
Or can it be the presence of conviction
that kicks the air out of my stomach
with spurs on it's heels
knocking me down to my knees
once again in repentance
pleading and apologizing to the Father
like a wayward lover
with good intentions
yet bad fortitude
I let myself down again
I let Father down again
carrying the guilt like a cross on my back
The cat o' nine tails of my sins
ripping my flesh
splattering my insides
outside the gates of the self-inflicted hell
my soul is tormented in
I die to self
once more
hoping that when I resurrect this time
by Father's grace and mercy
that it'll stick
like the nails in her hands
of that wordly damsel
whose also the thief
that imprisons my spirit woman
And when she takes her last breath
I pray to take the next one in Paradise
Written by Johndca Spencer© 2019 All Rights Reserved
