Elvan | Poetry Vibe
Elvan
This poet practices good karma and posts comments 10200
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Adrift in Time

CATEGORY

life

Views: 386

I find myself adrift in time

Many days just lost deep within my mind

I can’t see a single directional sign

I'm wandering and adrift floating in time

 

I find myself lost and adrift in time

Without a single person to treat me kind

I drift as though there is something to find

I don’t seem to be able to break this bind

 

I find myself floating and adrift in time

Without a clue as to how to stop the grind

I feel the need to loudly pine

As my soul seeks to greet the great divine

 

I find myself being carried away adrift in time

With only the ability to cry and whine

I don’t know how to get my light to shine

I guess I will find the solution drifting in time

 

I find myself lingering and adrift in time

Not knowing if or did I commit a crime

I look to the universe for the great alpine

Hoping to be released from my drifting in time

 

I find myself adrift in time

As though my courage has abandoned my spine

While the nothingness of space chooses my heart to dine

I hope I acquire from the emptiness a spirit that’s fine

Edward Van

September 11, 2019

 

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COMMENTS

 

mrmelody7 says:

Beautiful capture of time and space reminds me of my thoughts when out on the boat deep sea fishing where water and sky meet nothing else you see
 

Elvan says:

Thank you so very much for your comment mrmelody7, I appreciate you my brother.
Contest Winner  

hitalot879 says:

Punctuation and structure leads your reader through a piece. It tells them when to pause, when to rush, when to breath. Punctuation and structure are the map for your reader, dispose of the carefully. Now, this is my critique. You, as the poet, must decide what is of value and what to ignore. You are under no obligation to change anything. If you would like to discuss any points I have made, it would be my pleasure. I look forward to seeing your journey.
 

Elvan says:

Thank you hitalot879. I am open to your critique please email me. As an artist who realizes success is an ever evolving quest to improve, I welcome your guidance. emcintyr1981@yahoo.com
Contest Winner  

Charles2 says:

Deep ...into the drift... Wow, love the ripples of reference, reflections upon what points of existence you feel... emotions... touching

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love_supreme says:

Very nice!

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Brownchildt says:

Nice write, has a flow to it. Thank you for sharing.

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Elvan says:

Thank you Charles2, I appreciate your feed back. Peace
 

Elvan says:

Thank you very much Love-supreme I very much appreciate you compliment. Peace
 

Elvan says:

Thank you Brownchildt, I appreciate you taking the time to read it and comment. Peace
 

LP45 says:

Excellent write Elvan. A definite mind exploring and emotional journey. Thanks for the ride and thank you for sharing it.
 

Elvan says:

Thank you Ladypoet45 I always very much appreciate your feed back. Peace

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