The light outside the tundra

Sweet plagues

The taste is sweet 

One bite and the heart beats

The rush of adrenaline leaps

To pursue where the dark creeps

For the moment feels good

The light is blocked by a hood

So then shouldn’t becomes should

And starts to slowly chip the wood

Music blasts but no sound

Stuck in one direction no turn around 

No mirror to see who is the real clown 

Sweetness replaces what was formerly 

Bound 

No longer feeling dread 

But after awhile again I feel dead

Sweet things I’m being feed 

But the pain still sits in my head

Bringing back the fog with it’s nice aroma

But making everything vague

Until all is lost  and dead again

What a sweet plague

Switch lanes

Different strokes different planes

Same folks same game 

If life is connected by a chain 

It makes sense if the closest links 

Broken made us go insane

The things holding us together 

Despite the storm and harsh weather

All birds different feathers 

Regardless can flock together 

Different writing same meaning

High expectations still dreaming 

And remain that way until you start 

Believing 

Not enough to just believe 

But then go and must achieve 

And all those struggles 

You will one day leave 

Everything still drains 

Flooded out by a heavy rain 

But things can change 

Once you switch to another lane

My head

Maybe a rock is just a rock

Or maybe it’s a marble that looks like rock

Or maybe a ball that looks like a marble 

Or it could just be a rock

Just a rock??

Just.....a........rock 

Why does my mind hurt me so much

Why can’t I be like everyone else

I wanna think less of things right?

Isn’t that cold though?

Careless?

Thoughtless?

Idk

In some ways

I don’t wanna harm myself 

But I don’t know if I’ll stop death 

If I had the opportunity 

I just wanna stop everything 

Ever......single thing........just stop 

JUST STOPPP!!!!

STOPPPPPP!!!!

I wanna yell at the top of my lungs

I wanna cry nonstop 

Suffocate my thoughts 

The guilt 

The pain 

The t...

Auto pilot or Manual

Sometimes in life we chose our pace 

Whether we drive on earth or in space 

Whether we sit back and allow the journey to go on cruise 

And drift away stress free and taking a deep Snooze

Or we decide to take action and our choices and decision we take control 

No longer allowing ourselves to idle through and down hill just roll

Life takes a toll on you 

So you feel there is nothing you can do 

You’ve tried to drive but somehow you miss your turn 

Over and over you get frustrated and your stomach churns 

It just seems hopeless so instead of trying more, we go with the flow 

Not worrying where the path we are on leads us to go 

Just sitting back and letting things take course 

Less stress no worries  all natural nothing feels forced 

Even if the road starts to go thin <...

The Lingering and My departure

They look at me in different ways and at numerous angles

So confused by reasons for what they are as they hang there just to dangle 

Why do you stay knowing that the main thing there is pain 

Why do you continue to give your all when they only see you as a piece to a game 

Can’t you see that the trouble they put you through happens so often it’s almost rehearsed 

Yet you put up with so much as you await

 for all the bad times to reverse 

Please understand that they keep you around with illness and treat you as a toy

But you still stay clinging to that small spec of joy

Why do you push through so much hurt 

Please can’t you see that it’ll eventually get worst........

......I stay because I care and i love

I know I should go but I want to try badly so I push and shove

I stay because at one point or another alone I was...

When the smoke clears

I fell too deep no matter how hard I crawl or move it’s like my body’s asleep

Numb to all things happening before me

Even though my eyes are open I can’t see

My chest is ripped open and my stomach just churns 

It’s as if when things finally look as though their changing around 

It turns out to be the smoke because all of it begins to burn 

Sometimes I feel better sleeping keeping away from the world no peeping

I feel so lonely and misunderstood 

I really hope all these bad things turn out good

Strong little person they say I am 

Be deep inside the problems that sting me are stuck like jam 

Oh pain and long nights were I can’t sleep 

I look forward to the time when we cease to meet

Confusion

It feels nice right? To stand tall and breathe 

It’d feel good I know if I could get up on my own and take my leave 

This place a nice spot that helps me think 

But sometimes it’s the same place that can make me sink 

Clear at first things are and bright as day they may be

Sometimes they get clouded though so fogged up nothing I’m able to see 

The path I think of has a happy standing 

Filled with hope and joy but I keep missing the landing

I want to get there so bad 

Prolonging my destination just makes me so sad

But it’s so hard to land when you don’t have the whole cargo with you

So then it becomes...

The light outside the tundra

So many thoughts in my head so cold but they beat like an instrumental 

Frozen in place over time but once thawed

Out it pops and spreads like a pimple 

Appearing on every part of my brain 

They echo round about like a passing train 

So many problems just so conflicting 

No matter how many times I remove them somehow they wind up sticking

Although the time is lost they continue ticking over and over screeching like chalk

It goes on almost endlessy until it tocks 

And rings the bell to notify me of the gruesome tales 

The ones that could not be blown away even with the mightiest of gales

Those were stories untold and they were documents that were to remain unfold

Until i decided to change the season yet I wear no coat as I bear the cold

Yes it’s chilly and the icy wasteland makes me shiver 

But as ...

Unspoken Words

 I see you and you see me that much is true

It’s so sad how one can become red as a rose and like orchids turn blue

Shining with what light they have on the outside  but really dark in depth 

So dark one would become like the blind and even those with the best of sight could see that there’s nothing left

Walking about aimlessly like an empty husk with no real feeling

As everything seems to slip away so easy so what’s the point of dealing

Beautiful the petals are and amazing they glow 

as they hide the thorns that continuously  grow

Trying to keep others from getting struck with even the smallest of pricks

Fearing that once their stuck just like leaves they’ll never stick 

But some carry sharp tools to cut the thorns down

Finally the flower rises up and nothing by the weights of the thorns is held to th...

Passing pains

They scream were Is right and yell out justice!

But they only do so to hide all of their injustices 

People like to scream kick and shout when their ways are had

But are happy when their ways go about even becoming dull to the smallest things that are sad

If love and affection was a cure no one would take the medicine 

They’d rather sit there coughing and bleeding ouch there goes that pain in my head again 

Ignoring  the signs for help as they prefer the pain 

While adding more fuel to the fire and stakes to the game

It likes instead of stitches they rather let  the wound stay open and blood run 

Until they can no longer feel hurt because their dried out in the sun

They rather sit their and let hurt takes it course somewhere worse is where their headed

Keep holding on to the pain and want others to be sympathetic 

Honestly how could ya not...