I BECOME HOME

Let That Hurt GO!

Let That Hurt GO!

How are you supposed to feel when all you ever wanted was stripped away?

I’m not just talking about the physical….

Houses, cars and clothes.

But dreams, hopes, plans…

And, that one thing you weren’t brave enough to say or do yet.

It’s just stolen from you.

Sometime, you don’t even have to do anything for it to happen to you.

Sometime, you can be the perfect lover.

Sometime, you can be the best friend.

Sometime, things will just end.

But that’s not the issue here.

It’s not, guilt or fear.

It’s RAGE.

How can you get over the feeling of reading a book to the very last chapter,

then someone comes and rips the page?

 ...

I BECOME HOME

silent

Him

I yearn for your scent when youre not here. 

If all but once sense was clouded, I could still tell your near.

If I couldnt see, the smell of you sweet breathe would tell me you're close enough to kiss.

If I couldnt smell, the sight of your brown eyes and skin would initiate our immediate physical attraction.

If I couldn't touch, the sound of your whispers in my ear would be enought to open my floodgates.

If all I could do was hear, I'd put my head to your chest and listen to is slight arrythmia, because thats the only way to know for certain its you.

The thumps will slow with every second you get comfortable, but speed up with the excitements of my exhalations on to your sensitive chest.

My breathing will never match yours, because I cannot control myself when I'm around you.

You entice all of my 5 senses, they run wild.

You've enabled a 6th because our thoughts seems to m...

snap

Have you ever felt that you were spread too thin? Afraid to snap back because it would harm more than just yourself. Have you ever felt that they can see your efforts because theyre only measured on their scales? Have you ever felt like that silence was unappreciated... But instead it ignited an arguement that was undeserving.... If only they knew that silence once was a shortness of breath in between loud screeching cries because your anxiety attacked once more. Have they ever noticed the ball of your fist and the redness of your cheeks as you force the next sentence out, in a voice so sweet..... That didn't once, once be. It used to be a long angry roar, ended up with a glass ridden floor... From all the broken emotions and fist imprinted doors. They'll never know how far the hyperventilation went in the hot steamy shower... Letting the minutes turn to hrs to erase away the pain of such failures. Theyll never know how you looked in that mirror and vowed to KEEP YOU. No matt...

When Words Are Hard

When words are hard

When words are hard and relative of the past and the scars

When they leave your sentence bleeding,

And your mind is confused, an misinterpreted meaning

When words can cut:

So you reply with a first sigh, and or, and a but;

When words are hard because you know they possibly won't mean much.

When words are hard;

Because your looking for someone to comprehend...

You're looking for validity, when that's really found within.

When words are hard

The questioning starts:

Can he really feel what I mean?

Or Does he need some help

When words are hard...

Have confidence in you...

Because if he can't understand you,

It was never felt.

It was never true.

May I Be Me?

But can I be myself?

May I overreact when things arent intact?

Can I bathe in the feeling where serenity was hacked? May I be me? Without an crazy blowout?

May you love me; when you see I don't know how?

May I please feel this pain of this unsteadiness that you've created? Without arguements, confrontations and feeling as though I baited?

May I mourn what we once had; Good times they appeared to me, simultaneously to you were bad.

May I have this moment?

Just to loathe in my mind.

May I have the chance to leave what once was behind?

Before we overlook, all the chances we've took?

Before we oversee what we will never be?

Before I give this chance and opportunity to be something greater;

I'd like to scar my heart, and make permanent these moments; so it wont happen later.

May I be me?

Did We Run Out Of Things to Say?

Did we run out of things to say?

The silence kills me when you act this way.

The quiet breathes and frequent glances

I cant read your thoughts but know you're contemplating our chances

I've studied you're movement when your upset.

Non chalant touches, and you can't look me in the eye;

Because they're embedded with wasted efforts and pointless tries.

Is it selfess of me to live in this mystery?

To become sherlock's pursuant to regain victor?

To feel as though we made it, to feel as though I won?

But what's to win, when the other wants to run?

I know you don't understand me.

Most really don't,

It takes alot to love me, and most really won't. 

I guess it's too much effort, feel as though I'm asking too much.

Not tangibly, but mentally, emotionally and spiritually; 

And...

The Living Hiatus

The Living Hiatus

A Brief conclusion to my restless nights.

 A quick pause to my consistently running mind.  

A Walking, breathing, beautiful, drift to my hard times.    

I know I may use, abuse and possibly confuse the situation we're in;

But you are the living hiatus from where my problems begin.

I understand that is a lot to handle... And my jealous nature surly causes a lot these scandles.

But how can I not be addicted to this high bid gamble.

Like a throw of the dice

I don't think twice

Because of the equilibrium that reaches my soul when you look in my eyes.

My living, breathing, walking hiatus.

You say it's inevitable that you'll hurt me.

But I can't quit, With all the smarts and the wits

Something deep down in me

Says the feelings mutual, So if only for a season, and only for that reas...