Feeling like I am gravitating and will soon gravitate
Never elevating or graduating to a higher state
Allow me some time to speak up & to elaborate
Before my spirit goes and does a trick when it does evaporate
Or maybe it just disappears or possibly just dissipates.
I am not a man of angst, anger, or breathing hate
Please listen carefully to what I am about to illustrate
I’ve taken so much time to cry, pray and to even meditate
Upon godly things to try to get myself to mediate
Even though I have options and time to overdose & sedate
But I know life is more than what I can hallucinate
And no I am not writing this with anger or self-hate.
I admit that everything I do
Is only done, once I already took time to premeditate.
My family I honestly do love and consecrate
We at times sit down & truly do deliberate
How much more pain will I suffer
Before I go berserk and become an enemy of the state?
It’s quite factual if you give me time to demonstrate
I will offer word images that are quite actual!
Impressions of the three year painful lessons
As we sit back and expect some kind of eventual blessings.
Cause if we are told to rely on Him who sits on high
Then why doesn’t He answer me when I cry to the sky?
Or wipe the tears that drop heavily from my eyes.
How can I truthfully rely - upon Him?
When His silence has created internal disturbances & violence’s!
Moments of disgust as we discuss my emotional rust
And as my tears fall
They fall onto the cold earth crust
Verbally defecating while I spit and secrete intellectual bile
All the while, I change up my prayer style.
Somehow still believing that in a soon while.
God will step in and change our circumstances.
I honestly admit, that the thought in my mind still prances
It at times lingers as I count the various pains in my life that exist.
So I awaken everyday knowing I have another day to fight and persist!
SkTzO