It’s three in the morning and I ain’t been to bed.
’Cause I thought I’d stay up and get high instead.
The last of my reefer all dashed up with crank.
Wrapped in a Zig Zag, it’s now my new Dank.
All to myself, I smoke it with pride.
’Cause the gelcap I ate has started my ride.
Slowly but surely, my mouth’s been going dry.
If I don’t drink something, I feel I might die.
I reach for my drink, a cold Mountain Dew.
I chugged it right down, now I feel I may spew.
I’m acking and gacking, like I’ve done too much dope.
I forgot that earlier I placed filters in it to soak.
The filters alone was already enough.
But I had to add a gram to make it real tough.
This spiced up soda that I drank in record time.
Was meant to be babied and sipped at like wine.
That Mountain Dew was specifically made, to keep three people up for at least five freakin’ days.
Five whole days of being awake.
I’ve done more than nine so this will be cake.
Five days worth of geeking is all you really need.
But I’ve took enough for a party of three.
I head to the door ‘cause I feel I can’t breathe.
I open it up and spot a guy in my tree.
I glance around trying not to stare.
There’s two more in my bushes, what are they doing out there?
I shut my door, now filled with fright.
Is it the Feds or thieves in the night?
I know it’s the Feds with their high-priced toys.
Their listening devices to hear the slightest of noise.
They can see me even in the dark.
And I had night vision to, but I tweaked them apart.
I hide ‘til morning, I can finally see.
The Feds are all gone, even the guy in my tree.
Was it the Feds looking for me, or was it the dope and the drink made for three.
That magic Mountain Dew kept me flying all night.
I think I’ll make another, this time using Sprite.