My looks are nothing special,
My face reveals my age,
My body shows some wear and tear,
And my energy's not the same.
Too often my memory fails me,
And I lose things all the time.
One minute I know what I plan to do,
And the next it may just slip my mind.
I try hard to avoid my mirror.
There are things I would rather not see,
And even those times when I just catch a glimpse,
I can no longer recognize me.
The things I used to do with ease
Can now cause aches and pains,
And the quality of the things I do
Will never be quite the same.
I always compare my older self
To those younger versions of me,
And I know I'm wasting too much time
Missing who I used to be.
But the thing that really makes me sad
Is despite what people see,
Underneath my tattered, worn out shell,
I'm still the same old me.
My heart can still feel endless love,
And at times it still can ache.
My heart can fill with so much joy,
And then it can suddenly break.
My soul can still feel sympathy
And longs for forgiveness and peace,
And there are times its light shines boldly through,
And times when it longs for release.
It's true, maybe now that I'm older
Feeling lonely may be status quo,
But it also has made me more willing
To forgive and let past conflicts go.
So maybe to some I look ugly and old,
A person who barely exists.
I'm still quite aware of the beauty inside,
And my value should not be dismissed.
So although I am not as strong and beautiful, it's true,
I'm still here and want so much to live,
And I know that there's no one in this world quite like me,
And no one who has more to give.
crystalshealingjourney
 1500
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I still matter
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OTHER POEMS WRITTEN BY crystalshealingjourney
How To Live LifeThe person that confuses perfection with peace of mind, Will have to realize that tomorrow they probably will still not find. Whatever that they might have had in mind about a future of any kind, But maybe you only dream about such a thing When you can no longer see because you are now - Blindly following all of the people who seem to so often be inclined To dig their own grave but still never leave anything behind. But the idea that some judgement has any kind of right to truly define Any value in relation to human kind While we fail to realize that our own twisted inner-guide Is the sole thing that binds us to so called ‘solitary-confinement.’ That of which forces a focus on simply just trying to survive To be the only objective that we can ever really strive for in this life Instead of simply thriving just on being alive. Personally, the purpose of my life is definately not to live it ...  |
LostLost in Time Lost in the past, Lost without Love And lost without cash. I'm a lot like a puppy Just running the streets, Lost without a family And I'm lost in defeat. Lost in a world That scars me to death, Lost in thought And I'm losing my breath. Lost without a heart Lost without a soul, Lost with so many memories And I'm always left out in the cold. Lost without very many true friends And lost within my dreams, Lost with the demons I'm lost forever is how it seems. I was lost as a child And now I'm lost as an adult, Lost in the darkness and it must be all my fault. Lost beneath the light And I just cannot break free, Lost from myself There's just no longer any me. I'm lost in words Whether spoken or not, Lost is the word And that's all that I've got. Lost and hurt And lost in sorrow, Lost today And I'll probably be lost tomorrow. Lost in pain And lost in fear, I'm lost in the rain And I've lost so many years. © Cry... |
FakefriendsYou call me a friend As you pull out your knife, You stab me in the back Not once.... But twice. "Friends for life" is what you said But that was a straight up lie, Cuz yourdoesn't have a clue What it means to 'ride or die'. I'm surrounded by nothing but wolves That are all dressed up like sheeps, All telling both faced lies Damn near snitching on me. Claiming that it was not you Behind the lineup grass, You shake pointed out my people Just the save your own pathetic ass. I would much rather sweat bullets Then to search out for peace, They're spilling out gallons of blood Just to try to fight demons within me. The battle continues While frightening the anger within, Because it's a full-time job Dealing with fakefriends. Every time that I think I know What it is that they might do next, You end up selling my homies out For just a yard or less. I hope that you at least made a dollar As I'm screaming once again, Cuz you're a straight-up punk ... |
Unstable BalanceThoughts swirling- Crashing like waves against the shore. Fears protruding- Exploding like a volcano up into the air. Reality distorting- Clouding like fog covers field. Heart longing- Begging like a homeless man often has to beg for a meal. Body shivering- Freezing down through my bones to my soul. Head spinning- Twirling like a horse on a never ending carousel. Soul wondering- Simply just pondering like a proven genius. Moral shaken- Jumping like a boy who has been exposed to his own weakness. Faith leaving- Packing up and relocating to somewhere else stable. Eyes tearing- Like a child cries under the kitchen table. Balance fading- Falling like a river-bound kind of suicide. Future wobbling- Realizing how truly lost that I truly am inside. © Crystal Floyd May 19th, 2021 |
Below of the BeneathBelow Of The Beneath I'm a lost thinker, it gets me hook line and sinker and oh well I forgot to hit my blinker, if I get stopped I'll probably get thrown Right into the clinker But one thing is for sure the right path is narrow and you can own it lock stock and barrel, cleanse off the filth and just become sterile. Behind my eyes can you see the basket case, the misplaced displaced casket waste, the face of disgrace, perfectly put back into my place. Six years ago today I joined the deep underground, looking for sight or sound But no where to be found, bound like the frown on a clown I might be too tightly wound But I am about to come un-wound so here I am just jotting some thoughts down, But I can't be contained, While I'm outside of insane And inside of my own brain I cannot say it anymore plain As I see transparent windowpanes, created by flames in the heat of July, So I will quietly sigh, as I type Thi... |
Just ExistSo many people walk the earth. With purpose in their eyes, But in their hearts they know That what they are living is a lie,
The alarm goes off 6am, . Like every other day, . So they can walk into a job they hate, . Beca... |
My Own Memory Library.Imagine if I was given just one moment just a single slice of my past, I would hold it close forever so that moment would always last. I'd I would put that moment into a safe within my hearts' abode, And I could open it up anytime that I wanted and only I would know the code. I would choose a time of laughing a time of happiness and fun, I would choose a time that tested me through every single thing I have done. I sat and I thought about which moment Would possibly almost always make me smile, Which moment that would always Push me to walk that extra mile. If I am feeling sad and low Or if I am struggling with what I should or should not do, I can go and open my little safe and watch my moment through. There are some moments that I can think of that would be able to lift my spirits each and every time, The moments when you picked me up, when the road was hard to climb. For me to only pick one moment To cherish, to save and to also keep is pr... |
I still matterMy looks are nothing special, My face reveals my age, My body shows some wear and tear, And my energy's not the same. Too often my memory fails me, And I lose things all the time. One minute I know what I plan to do, And the next it may just slip my mind. I try hard to avoid my mirror. There are things I would rather not see, And even those times when I just catch a glimpse, I can no longer recognize me. The things I used to do with ease Can now cause aches and pains, And the quality of the things I do Will never be quite the same. I always compare my older self To those younger versions of me, And I know I'm wasting too much time Missing who I used to be. But the thing that really makes me sad Is despite what people see, Underneath my tattered, worn out shell, I'm still the same old me. My heart can still feel endless love, And at times it still can ache. My heart can fill with so much joy, And then it... |
Life... HappensThe thing about pain Is that it will npt ladt forever, And though it might be killing you right now Know that with time it does really get better. The thing about scars Is that they will all eventually fade, Until thete is nothing left at all Then of the cuts that were once made. The thing about today Is that is always tomorrow, And if you are unable to fi d ypir own smile Then I have one that you can borrow. The thing about help Is beside you it stands, But it will not know that it us even needed Unless you reacg out your hand. The thing about love Is that you cannot ferl its touch, Until ypu let another person know That for you this world is just too much. |
A conversation with a strange womanThe once spoke with a woman with an illness inside of her heart, I was there to simply ask her a few questions But I just did not quite know how to start. How do you ask a person who can count their time that they have left, Which moments that they regret in life and whuch ones that they liked the best. I did not quite know how to ask her If she could give me any kind of advice, When I was given my entire life to live And she had only gotten a slice. I was scared that she might judge me For wasting minutes of her time, So I asked her just one question As I heard her old clock chime. I asked her what it felt like Knowing that soon that she would die, And as she told me her short answer She looked me straight into the eye. "I might know that my time is ending But pity for you is all that I have got, Because since I wake up knowing that I am dying You wake up pretending that you are not." Crystal K. Floyd February... |