Who AM I

Beautiful Liar

Look how happy they seem wearing their smiles with so much questionable pride 
Placed on the shelves made of glass they lined up their beautiful golden trophies of lies
Watch how much sadness is carefully repressed behind the laughter of not so funny jokes
Beautiful lies worn gracefully in hopes to fool the audience of folks
Take a glance at the emptiness in the hugs that have drained their love 
Watch how they exaggerate the joy as they continue to pull out the pot from the oven without a glove 
Come and see it for yourself look how well they’ve played their role
Not a soul would know a thing unless one of them told
Where was this going? Where else but to a whirlwind disaster..
As more lies continued to disguise their truth leading it to chaos much faster
Because at the end of it all who could keep up with the lies?
Who could get up everyday and continue to wear such a heavy disguise?

Unlocked Diary

I’ve come to find that we live foolishly confined by the uncertainty that lies in expectations..
That most disappointments will derive from people’s inability to provide that thing that you believe is supposed to be given to you without second thoughts or hesitations
A wise man once told me to allow people to be who they are because ultimately you can’t control what a person makes a conscious decision to do
That the only thing you can control and barely at times are the things that come from you..
We live foolishly deceived by this notion that love is really unconditional and exists within the rules and regulations we try to put in place
Unknowingly inviting disappointments to live free in our world taking up time and an abundant amount of space..
The over thinkers will think themselves into situations that may never even occur…
While those who live life on the fly sometimes can’t recall a thing from ...

Pulled the plug

            Pulled the plug

I was like your diary.. I knew exactly what you were feeling with you having to say a thing..
When you felt like flying free like a bird in the sky.. it was I who quickly decided to be your wings
I was like your heart beat.. and with every thump I strived to give you the strength to carry on
There was a time that our love was the lyrics when life was merely just the song
I was like your oxygen and when you inhaled I was there to fill your lungs
To see you live out your potential there wasn’t a thing I wouldn’t have done 
I was… 
not what I thought I was
I was living in a cloud
Everything was foggy but it was what I had allowed
I believed what I wanted to be true
Knowing well that deep inside I was starting to lose you
I was like your heart beat.. which is exactly why when I stopped beating our love die...

Healthy Balance

As you are feeding your body don’t forget to nourish the soul
For it is the fruits of that labor that will keep you graciously whole
While we caress their heads and lay in their beds 
Let us not forget to love ourselves entirely
Before trying to give our broken perception of love to another potential liar..
I challenge you to touch yourself in unfamiliar places
Look in the mirror and see your different faces 
Which person really captures you.. the real you on a regular basis..
As you are searching to find someone to satisfy your needs 
I challenge you to satisfy yourself and to do so with so much greed
Lift yourself up and put yourself on a pedestal 
Don’t wait for someone else to do it for you
Do you realize just how special, how beautiful and rare you are??
Look how much you’ve accomplished?? Look how much you’ve overcome this far
Stop le...

Unwelcomed

If you find yourself wanting more than just me I suggest you walk away
I’m not interested in tap dancing with your halftoo widely spread romance sessions
There’s really nothing you can say
I’ve learned from past lessons..
If you make a decision, a conscious decision to be a walking contradiction 
And find yourself wanting to have me tangled and intertwined in your web of lies..
and sexual addiction
I suggest you leave right now
I have no room to store empty I love you’s 
And a false narrative of a happily ever after that could never even make it passed the first chapter
See I’m no longer interested in deceit that only leaves me regretting the fact I let you trick me into giving you my treat..
I’m looking for real love infused with reciprocity 
And Not just a summer day fling leading to disappointment and animosity..
I want that grown Luther Vandross Teddy Pendergr...

The Disguise

            The Disguise

You hid me well with intentions on burying me for good
Held me captive behind your sacred walls convinced yourself that no one would find me even if they could
You decorated my exterior with pretty colors and sweet alluring deceitful scents 
Tucked away all of it’s confusion 
until it appeared to make perfect sense
You tried to hide me from the crowd 
by creating beautiful distractions 
Perfected the art of smiling through me 
though deep inside you felt utter dissatisfaction 
You hid me in places you hoped to never have to seek
Kept me far away from reality in hopes your costume of strength disguised the weak
I tried to break free from your shackles 
to free you from despair
But every time I got close to escaping 
you quickly closed the door and left me on my knees gasping ...

The Forgotten

   The Forgotten 

Today I danced in the rain
I jumped in puddles and washed away all the traces of my pain
I smiled as I swung my hips and rejoiced in thoughts of liberation
I danced happily in the rain with no reservations or hesitation 
Today I exhaled slowly and so profound
I allowed my lungs to fill with air of new hope and released the old baggage that made me drown
I floated in mid air as I became light as a feather and soft like fresh cotton
Today I imagined all the new places I could go as all the old places were now stored in my mental file that read “the forgotten”

Summer Portrait

Summer Portrait 

I stared at the mirror analyzing my reflection
Saw all of the pieces.. the components that ultimately made up the different parts of me and it was far from perfection..
I saw glimpses of my past..
Shadows of my present
Some details were not so gratifying but there were some that were pleasant..
As I stared in the mirror that stood at the right corner of my room by my bed….
I noticed that most of my thoughts were also in the reflection as if it had pierced through my skull and saw the images in my head..
It was in the middle of July.. a hot summer day
And my energy was high
My intensity was concentrated in a bottle of confusion 
I was in the midst of figuring my life out through my reflection but yet a little lost through the Smokey fogs of illusions..
Sweat trickled down the side of my cheeks .. my edges were curled and bothered by the humidity’s peak&nbs...

Lemonade

I built castles with the sand you left behind

Residue of the far traveled places that you left for me to find

I found peace in its existence, for it led me to something great

No longer gambled with my worth, eliminating it from future debate

I reminisced and found comfort in my findings

Released myself from emotional attachments and broke free from all of its bindings 

The reflection in the mirror appeared so much different than anything I ever saw

Before me stood a version of myself that was uninhibited, unfiltered, and refreshingly raw

Doses of positive energy flowed through my body like the blood that flowed through my veins

Sweet nothings rested in my head, pure and natural like the fructose from sugar canes

The natural sunlight illuminated my path 

Traveling life’s alternate blissful route, that contained no room for negativity and wr...

Labyrinth

Crept into my mind disturbing what I thought I had already settled and disputed

Arrived into my concentrated thoughts and changed it's consistency to highly diluted

Ran around in circles like a mouse in a maze

Leaving me in a state of confusion that lingered around for days

Unlocked hidden truths that were so carefully repressed 

Left me naked in my vulnerability though fully clothed and nicely dressed

Listed and presented the facts like the labels of nutrition

I had been silently working on my flaws so I thought.. patiently waiting for the results to come to fruition

In addition..

The realization came to play 

of all the thoughts that have floated in my head that I've never mustered up to say

Is it fear or just plain inability?

Fear of opening up too much or just unable to express myself unless it's through affections.. like only physically

I fall short in the depart...