Forrest Chump

CATEGORY

just different

Forrest Gump, my , This the only dude I know who went all american in football, got shot in the ass, won the medal of honor, drunk all the pepsis at the white house, told the president he had to pis, showed his ass, literally, on national tv, beat a white boyat a black panther rally, went to the olympics, ran across America, including thorugh a big pile of dog , and then he did the ultimate, he buried the chick who curved him all his life in the backyard to make sure that was dead, did I mention that he had a Black best friend whose IQ was lower than his, did I mention he was the first to die in the movie, while his white counterparts all survived their rescue, cause Black men never survive horror movies and I learned over time, that Forrest Gump, is the scariest ***ing movie a Black person could ever watch outside of The Help, did you notice that the help was a Black maid, Mrs. Louise, living in a house on an old slave plantation, serving them, cleaning for them, did you notice that bubba’s mama cooked shrimp for a slave owner, and his mama’s mama cooked shrimp for a slave owner, and his mama’s mama mama cooked shrimp for a slave owner, I mean pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, walnut shrimp and I’ll be damned that they made us look like ***ing simps, but most of all, we’ve been lying this whole time, Elvis didn’t steal his styles and rhymes from Black creators, nah, he learned that from a seven year old with braces on his legs in a upstairs bedroom, and then boom, he meets a black woman, at a bus stop, and so nonchalant says hey, my granddaddy used to dress up like ghosts in white sheets, they were like spooks or something, and called themselves the Ku Klux Klan, as if we needed a ***ing history lesson about who was hunting our asses down for a few centuries, did you notice at the white house, it was a black man who popped the top on that dr. pepper, and I’m sure he felt salty, get it, salt, pepper, black, white, terrible joke, but let’s continue, we finally had a man in a position of power, a drill sergeant, whose job was to mold boys into men, and in the end, it was a black man who gave him his walking papers, but in the middle he bonded with LT Dan, and I dunno bout any other man, but it told me that it’s dark times in your start and finish, but in between, white is the light and white is right, and who could forget my mans, going to the black church, singing in the choir, praying for shrimp, so he could be rich, kinda remind you of this modern day professional sports , white guys using black labor to make billions, they get trophies, but in the movies, the church got a ***ing new cross, so you can cross this movie off my favorites list, I don’t care bout that drugged up jenny , I careless bout mama gump who took pumps in exchange for grades, I give two ***s about the history he made, but you wanna know the biggest shade, was him saying life is like a box of chocolates, when those chocolates came in a white box, you never know what your gonna get, but sorry Forrest, we do