Therefore I Am

The Sequence of Repetition III

   John and Jay knew each other from back in the day.

When they started comparing kicks in eighty five.

   Around the time Jordan one's arrived.

When flour was cooked to make bread that could provide.

   A way of living that supplied.

An opportunity to escape a community that terrorized.

   Innocent victims hospitalized, from conflicts of the criminalized.

Down since kindergarten ties.

   Before they even knew what keeping it real was.

Red palms grasp then shake, they're now brother's of blood.

   Together, moving through the underworld.

Chain snatching, block standing, stick em up, or lay down.

   Benz pushing, diamond cuts, surrounded by legs in short skirts.

Passports and resorts, they coming up.

   House on the hill, swimming like Scrooge McDuck.

John is savy, not ...

Alternative

   Question!

Can God really have a fallacy?

   If he could, could it possibly be me?

Lord have mercy, though i know I'm not worthy.

   Worthless, mental scurvy.

Moving curvy, on a straight road.

   Even to myself, I'm unworthy.

Everyday, is today's the day.

   Only to end up being another yesterday.

And the day before, as I lay on the floor.

   Starring at the ceiling, trying to teleport.

Into another deminsion, a multiverse existence.

   Being another me, with no consequences.

Everything imagined, coming to fruition.

   But what my imagination failed to mention.

Is whatever I imagine will have problems, just different.

   Greener pastures, everyone looks over the fence.

No matter where you go, people make mistak...

The Sequence of repetition II

   Ran up with that glock and let off a blast.

Left him in the grass, right next to the trash.

   It wasn't for the cash, or the jewelry flash.

The vibe was him or me, had to act fast.

   Real slow, dark vehicle, black mask.

Peeled after the flash, into the black.

   Dark liquor, hot blunt, cold shivers.

I knew the nigg@, friends have become strangers.

   He started acting stranger.

Word on the air, I was in danger.

   Saw him three days ago, he gave a dirty look.

I lifted the shirt, ain't no such things as halfway Crooks.

   No turning back, tension starting to cook.

Especially when i found out he was planning a jux.

   So be it, now the gloves coming off.

Bumped into Jane his ex, she likes to talk.

   Wined and dined, then secrets of the pillow.

Never Mind

   Sometimes, I wish I could rewind time.

Cause I'd be lying, if i say there's nothing I wish I could change.

   So many things, thers's no where to begin.

Lost in my mind, trying to find ways to press replay.

   Would I do the same thing, or find a different way, and weigh, if there would be any guilt today?

   Maybe I should do this, instead of that?

That possesion charge, I knew better than to be holding that pack.

   Grand theft auto at sixteen, already off track.

I knew he was bluffing, so why'd I choke him like that?

   Another trip in the car with lights, cuffed in the back.

Just scratching the surface, there's a lot more than that.

   Counseling, nah, there'll be none of that.

Family and friends, they cutting me some slack.

   But what a...

Waiting For That Letter

   Went outside with a naked mind, and let the rain pour down.

Now mud runs down.

   Dirty face, no wipe down.

Hands high, head to the sky, let it drown.

   Gasp for air, from when the drops touch down.

Flooded, the dirt runs down.

   The mind, body and soul, then soaks in the ground.

Buried, silent sound.

   Within the soil and rocks, It's like losing pounds.

Fall to the ground, hands pressed as lightning and thunder sounds.

   Asking for forgiveness without making a sound.

Silent prayer, it's been some years, evaporated tears.

   But here i am, you got me right here.

You've forgotten about me, what I fear.

   I wrote you a letter, but didn't hear.

Back from you, do you care?

   I read your book, maybe your answe...

Humble

   Humility, is an ability, that creates agility, to avoid hostility.

Gaining a stability, within the mentality, allowing durability, for life's unpredictability.

   Enabling true prosperity, for the enlightenment of spirituality.

Within the chaotic existence of reality.

   In preparation for immortality.

I Just Called To Say!

   I just called to say, lately you've been on my mind.

Reminicing over the times.

   That we laughed, and everything was fine.

Talking about everything, debating minds.

   Beautiful and smart, one of a kind.

Man, its really been a long time.

   Since I've heard your voice, its truly sublime.

Fear of your presence, truly devine.

   How have you been?

I hope all is fine?

   Really, I'm good to, I'm glad you answered.

I've been thinking about some things.

   Oh, you to.

Well i was thinking about things we used to do.

   And how I overlooked some things I should have valued.

Really, you was thinking the same thing.

   I'm glad to hear that, no really, this is true.

Nothing that I did, nothing I coul...

Heaven Knows

   Oh God, the pain inside.

A wish to just close the eyes.

   Then wake up to a different sky.

Almost as if to give up, and just die.

   Yet much to accomplish within life.

A healthy medium, is becoming hard to find.

   Stress isn't the only thing pressing on the mind.

Another sip of spirit, put down the nine.

   Thoughts of being missed, based off being cruel or kind.

A tangled bind, that needs to unwind.

   To weigh which has been given more time

And if its time, to change this tune of mine.

   God doesn't make mistakes, does that mean i'm fine?

Cause I can not understand how something from the devine.

   Can go so wrong, in my lifetime.

Hova, I got a million and one questions.

   Friend or foe, it's a blur...

Insomnia

   Tossing and turning, unfamiliar with relaxation.

The heat of transgression is hot.

   Parched, in search of a quenching remedy.

An ale for an ailment,

   A momentary peace from self, I beg!

A blind existence enlightened by the gift of time.

   Yet longevity is punishment, to reflect upon willing discord.

The exhaustive journey of accountability.

   For there is no rest for the wicked!

Manuscript

   When the night calls, the dark will come.

Nowhere to hide, nowhere to run.

   Live by the sword, die by the gun.

Claim to be a man, but live like a son.

   Qustions with no answers, the gloom and the glum.

Pleas and cries, heard by none.

   Swallowed whole, the black has come.

The heat will be hot, slow is the burn.

   Ashes and dust, ye shall return.

For it is written, previously forewarned.

   Some complied, most ignored.

There will be consequences, with few rewards.

   The reaping of what's sown, mines and yours.

The them and they, his and hers.

   Rocks and sticks, action is louder than words.

Don't speak, see, or hear what's observed.

   Vengeance is mine, remember the words.

Just and unjust, the rain will fall.

   Winter, Spring, S...