Crept into my mind disturbing what I thought I had already settled and disputed
Arrived into my concentrated thoughts and changed it's consistency to highly diluted
Ran around in circles like a mouse in a maze
Leaving me in a state of confusion that lingered around for days
Unlocked hidden truths that were so carefully repressed
Left me naked in my vulnerability though fully clothed and nicely dressed
Listed and presented the facts like the labels of nutrition
I had been silently working on my flaws so I thought.. patiently waiting for the results to come to fruition
In addition..
The realization came to play
of all the thoughts that have floated in my head that I've never mustered up to say
Is it fear or just plain inability?
Fear of opening up too much or just unable to express myself unless it's through affections.. like only physically
I fall short in the department of reactions that involve my words..
I'm not sure if it's because in the past I felt like I was never truly heard..
Or are those just excuses I've created to keep from communicating real raw emotion
Sometimes to me it just feels like a person who can't swim diving head first into an ocean
Afraid to drown... afraid to be free
But then who am I really if I'm not saying everything that's bottled up inside of me?
Initially..
I disagreed with the idea that I was passive aggressive
And hardly expressive..
I believed I was just complicately simple, speak my mind without being excessive..
Maybe this part of me that is locked away has always wanted to be free
..and maybe it' will remain this way until someone unlocks it with a key..