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I awaken each morning
Knowing I’ve heard your last breath
And the sound of your voice
As you say good morning.
I’ll remember the sound of the
Motor engaging on your bed
As you adjust it to sit up.
It was the final snooze button
On my alarm clock,
The one I couldn’t reach
And push one last time,
Just a few more minutes needed,
But I knew I had to get up for you.
The silence weighs heavily
In your room as its door
Remains closed since you’ve gone
And to relieve its pressure
When I open the door
To grab something needed,
It exhales with a sigh of relief
As it travels throughout our home.
Comforted by only the sound
Of fish tank filters running in
In the living room outside my door.
Silently I sit on the side of my bed
Taking it all in and I’m numb.
Decisions to get out and just ride
Are hard but necessary
In order to get on with the business
For the day, to keep living and
To keep my heart from breaking
Into oblivion.
Failed attempts to hold back tears
Begin to blur my vision
And stain my glasses resulting in
My emotional dam breaking and
My cries take over once again
As I hold onto every memory we had
They flow until I am empty and
My pressure is relieved.
I regain my composure and
Move on with my day,
And it’s only day 2 of
My life without you.
By Juanita J. Smalls
7/11/21
Revised 9/9/21
