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We connected online,
You seemed just fine,
We chatted for a bit,
I smiled at your wit.
So we decided to meet;
To go for something to eat.
I chose a really public place,
Hoped I’d recognise your face.
We met outside the station,
I wore a designer creation.
You looked okay in the flesh;
I thought, ‘Let’s see if we mesh.’
The restaurant was not far away,
The time not too late in the day,
Keeping safe was a must
In case I had to temper your lust.
Once we got there and took a seat
You said you’d decided not to eat!
You acted weird, strange, freaky
I thought, ‘Oh no, he’s kinda geeky.’
It really wasn’t ideal
But I ordered my meal.
You just ordered a coke;
I thought, ‘Hmm, maybe he’s broke.’
But then as I began to dine
You ordered red wine…
What you did next was a shock,
I wanted to hide under a rock.
You poured red wine into the coke.
I thought, ‘This guy’s having a joke!’
A strange sangria or kooky tail?
Whatever. It made me want to bail.
My appetite gone, food left on my plate,
I said, ‘Oh gosh, it’s getting late.’
You didn’t let good food go to waste,
Polished off my leftovers with rude haste!
Time to pay, and you got the bill
Then said, ‘I’ll pay for mine at the till.’
By now it was clear you were just a loser,
Such a shame, cos I’d wanted a schmoozer.
As we left you said, ‘That was fun.’
I thought, ‘Now I really have to run…’
We said our goodbyes, I kept it brief.
Alone again, what a relief!
[Copyright - Charlotte Shyllon]
