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Why do I keep crying?
Why can't I release this?
why am I still hurting?
With all the bad that came between us I still dwell on the good.
his perfect face… His V shaped back ...
His perfect enchanting smile clouds my mind.
Was I really in love? am I really that in love?
Have I really ever been, truly, in love before?
Sleeping on his chest... listening to his wisdom... listening to him breathe...
even when I was angry with him it was such a comfort.
intellect and charisma.
charm and wit.
dashing and enchanting.
sleeping on his chest... Laying in his arms ... listening to his wisdom...
It is selfish but I don't want him to desire anyone else.
giving him comfort... making him smile... giving him encouragement... turning him on ... I am angry with him for being dishonest.
angry with myself for being vindictive.
he scares me in the best ways... belittles me in the worst ...
Vain little man with a huge presence.
pretty face with a misunderstood heart.
it hurts to be considered too much ... It is embarrassing to know that I wasn't as evolved as I thought I was before he came into my life.
It's embarrassing that I loud so much ugliness to spew from my subconscious...
It is embarrassing to know that I couldn't allow myself to love unconditionally.
I want him...
I need him...
I should not ...
but I do.
