Forgiveness is not for those we forgive, it's for ourselves. While you learn to heal and let go of the memorys, change the way you feel, about what happened to you. tried this on for size, allow love to be emphasized. Be grateful for everything that's ever happened to you. I understand abuse and I can see it from your point of view. so since both my parents have abused me from about the age of 2, I had to learn to trust and it was the hardest thing I had to do. I can only trust God And I had to learn to trust myself. I have to see my parents and view them as something else. I went to college and took some classes there Because I did not want to mimic my parents. I want my children to have better care. so I had to come to terms that they too have been abused. That they too have had to face obstacles where they both were in some ways misused. it is hard to be a parent, it is hard to be a wife, it is hard to be an example when you've had none in your life. See we mimic what we see, we repeat it back, if we don't know any better, we become our parents and as sad as this may seem, we have to pay attention So are children don't get caught up in generational curses that steam roll us in our dreams. we have to see them victims because they are, and they 2 question their worth as a lot of people walk through life too proud to say they hurt, but the treatment of others has nothing to do with yourself worth and you're worthy and you're beautiful God he made you that. nothing that your parents have done Should you allow to be a trap. when I say trap I mean keeping you in that place where you can't find peace. peace because instead of Love hate has taken place and bad experiences are only bad experiences when they control who we become and confine us to a tiny space. change how you view them. what did you learn in that situation if it was merely learning how to pray, to call on God, to know that he's there for you And I know that it's confusing but God came to give you what is true, to set you free and freedom is loving those who did not know how to love you and viewing them a different way, viewing them like they didn't know what to do because that is what is apparent in the way they parented you. don't take it personally. Don't take it to heart, just be the example so they have a place to start. a place to start loving and Forgiving themselves. this will change the direction for everything including your spiritual health.