I internally died
Though I obnoxiously vied
I quite consciously, constantly tried
To do more than survive but thrive
And find my divine entwined tribe
And hopefully, more than vocally vibe
And though through flows I remain alive
I somehow, always found calamity, catastrophe and agony
In all that I tried
No matter which of life rollercoaster ride
I eventually learned to die to try
And every now and then disperse a diatribe
And CRY against the 4th entire reich
Yes, this quiet guy
Has some dying pride
In my private life
Hence, this entire time
I pray my internal riot dies
Its best defined and yes described
As I sip from a hobbits goblet
Multiple droplets of cyanide
Now and then I cried inside
And the many lies I deified
In many silent nights
My violent fights
And highly reliant plight
Urged this jerk of words
To ascribe to lies
And what was prescribed
Was defiantly denied
So I was left out, high and dry
Lost many nights of sleep
You could see it in my tired eyes
Constantly wondering just what might arise
Sometimes seeking spiritual sobriety
To release and defeat the anxiety
Inside of me
I’m nothing but a kind guy to me
Disguised in lies and sighs
That were supplied to me
Now this scriptural excerpt
A woven tapestry from this expert
Expressing words from where his chest hurts
Emerged a deft adept and shrewd
No longer feeling like an inept jerk
Running in wet dirt
NEVER been into gossip
Hence, I don’t collect dirt
So I use specific wording to create words with texture
Consciously offering complicated conjectures
In the midst of philosophical lectures
Born a scorn that came from dead sperm
From one that had an unreliable sex urge
Questioning what’s the next turn?!
This is a letter to MYSELF
Offering myself an exhortation for vespers