Feelings come and go, but our emotions are meant to help us grow, but yet instead our hearts turn cold, trying to defrost it, can be tremendous , it could kill you, or help you grow, plus everything in between, either way it's true but we can't keep letting it freeze, just so our hearts won't be seen.
Maintaining reality is harder than what it seems, just to be free and to love again, sounds like a dream, *** all the pretending and the skims, here and now I choose ME for a team,
My heart has be broken time and time again and honestly I don't even know where to begin.
I'm tired of been the friend with the never happy end, or running from man to man for a nut or ten, while so called friends expose their hands, and FAMILY, thats a scam, quick to stick you in the sand, been stuck in a runt and nobody ever gave a ***, an still everybody want my trust, but dont understand that been ***ed.
Shattered and scattered my heart never really mattered, I was deemed a disaster an even a bastard, because my was all they was really after, raped and abuse kept my heart cool, but death showed his rules on how to keep the fridge in use, even though I know how it started it, the ice around my heart never dissolves for , so I don't even bother it, even when another heart is involved in it, I leave it discarded because they create the deepest scars.
My trauma is real, yes I'm afraid to feel, because this has been my ordeal, I was a great person until the pain and shame came, then I didn't have nothing to gain and than anger became my name.
Now I'm trying to thaw it out, I can contest it's a spiritual process, trusting God to change me and reverse this curse that tried to claim me!
Tata2020!
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Frosted
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life
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mlowe5 says: A powerful "melting" write. Thanks for the share. Indeed, thawing out keloid hurts takes warming time. Continue to trust in God and His given divine wisdom and guidance and thawing liberation will come. BPeace and Love.e blessed Tata 2020. |
OTHER POEMS WRITTEN BY Tata2020!
Cursed TownHave you heard of a cursed town, where I'm from it's my hometown. We are cursed by 3's, 5's, and 7's, what in God's heaven happened to this place. Drugs an thugs is what's understood, no dreams or goals, life just stuck on repeat. Wake up to be great,lol more like greater than ya neighbor, rape you even if related , snatch what you want, cops crooked and they really be playing master. We watched our parents move and groove, but they didn't tell us the tool to use to remove the curse that had been in use. We made the mistake of thinking you can leave that place, but there it lay, a lake full of hate. Full of despair, while the demons within play their hand, Death can be seen time an time again but for our land that's when the worry begin. 3's,5', and 7's who family will be hit again, death for silsbee is not something we can pretend that this curse, is our friend but We can say this is why smoketown is our brand. Our Ghost rome the streets, they hunt us real deep. Even w...  |
PThe things I seen an the lines I had to read in between, My life experiences have taught me a couple of things, like everything isn't what it seems. My truth and your truth could be totally different things, it's so many different versions of the truth who knew. All I can do is show my proof, than it's up to you. Life has shown me, what the world owed me and that's not a damn thing. It's nice to dream an make it as the world turnt into a evil being. But my truth is, what made me whole and complete. My life taught me to take responsibility for the good and bad things and the in betweens. It showed me the worst so I can appreciate the best of my next. It showed me that we don't know everything and nobody is better than the next. The quest put everything to the test, just so I can be at my best when it came to my last finally step. The craft of the heart is a mystery from the start. Zoned out just us in the whole crowd, not even hearing a sound. This is our world now, I'll cheri... |
ReponseBut don't you see what this means, you are tougher than you think, miles away and together we still stay mentally on a vaca, when we do lay I say let's make it the best day, no not just ***ing but remembering each topic of discussion holding hands sitting in the sun, yes I want my one on one but this time I'm in my right mind don't want no lies when you look into my eyes, a seamless love line that's why over time you will be mine no question in my mind it's just a matter of time, where we can actually unwind and heal this one last time, the distance helps smooth the line , relearning the worth of each other first, building up our foundation before we take our places hand and hand as I your woman an you my Man |
Generational CurseDo I deserve ,to build up the nerve ,to destroy this generational curse, with all these bible verses, while keeping God first and showing the world my distrubed inner girl. All the pain and shame, I'm to blame. There are some many things I wish I could change, like 15 and sleeping with a married man, I don't even understand what typa man, naw *** that, this isn't the plan to blame the man, I do understand I played my hand, and slept with another woman man. I can't pretend those is just some of my many sins. Sex was my addiction, grown men was my redemption, sex with them really wasn't even fun I really was numb, but the fact of the matter is my privates was all they really was after. Smoking trees remembering my Grandma saying"lay with dogs you get up with flees" but that's the thing, the dogs had already gotten to me, was it a chance to see if it's wet as you imagined it to be, or they just couldn't wait to see! however it may be this is what created my redemption theme. I... |
Friends HuhDude? here? dumb? ass? ? it's? been? a? tragedy? in? this? ,? Kid? what? did? i? miss,? how? you? ***ing? on? this? trick,? really? both? of? yall? dismissed,? Tornish? your? name? but? you? still? given? brain,? how? stupid? can? you? get?? You? trick!? I'm? new? to? this? ,? Im? clueless? than? a? ,? what? I? think? of? you? slick,? notches? went? down? a? bit,? i? thought? you? were? a? stiff,? ? with? you? after? all? we? been? through,? that? ? sick,? how? i? go? harder? for? you? than? you? do,? where? your? confidence? at? fool,? you? the? considerate? dude? with? a? heart? big? too? but? she? clowning? you? dude,? you? did? that? ,? you? deserve? all? the? clap? back? that? I? can? give? for? real? ,? ? ass? nigha? is? how? I? define? you,? bestfriend? is? what? I? use? to? use? to? describe? you,? Bro? you? wild? boo,? I? mean? i? dont? despise? you,? but? that? ? was? beneath? you? and? you? asked? for? a? trio? too? ? boy? I? wanna? beat? tf? outta? you,? We? ain't? the? ... |
FrostedFeelings come and go, but our emotions are meant to help us grow, but yet instead our hearts turn cold, trying to defrost it, can be tremendous , it could kill you, or help you grow, plus everything in between, either way it's true but we can't keep letting it freeze, just so our hearts won't be seen. Maintaining reality is harder than what it seems, just to be free and to love again, sounds like a dream, *** all the pretending and the skims, here and now I choose ME for a team, My heart has be broken time and time again and honestly I don't even know where to begin. I'm tired of been the friend with the never happy end, or running from man to man for a nut or ten, while so called friends expose their hands, and FAMILY, thats a scam, quick to stick you in the sand, been stuck in a runt and nobody ever gave a ***, an still everybody want my trust, but dont understand that been ***ed. Shattered and scattered my heart never really mattered, I was deemed a dis... |
A girl with a StoryYou know my name and look into my eyes to see the pain and what's still to gain! It's really insane how I maintain, you see I'm no war veteran but still endend up with PTSD, slept in my closet so the bad man couldn't get the rest of me, smoked weed to ease the pain, pop skittles to mask the real me. Now they went and diagnosed me bipolar schizophrenic and they not even understanding where been how I had to pretend it wasn't that man again! I was about 10 when this grown man decide to be my friend, and not just the hold my hand but the behind closed doors let me be your man, the places he put his hands I really don't want to begin the point that I could no longer pretend I just laid there praying that God would just take my breathe away, bout time that ended I created a person to defend me you see! 13 yrs old truly learning how cold the world is. By then, my cousin was real bold I told her the truth about you know who and she told me let me show you what I can do, been that... |