I CALLED TO HEAVEN

A PRODUCT FROM THE PROJECTS

THIS TITLE STUCK OUT AS I READ YOUR TEXT, WANNA REWIND MY LIFE JUST FOR A SEC.

BEEN A PROJECT GIRL WHEN WE DIDN'T HAVE *HIT, BUT KNEW ONE DAY I WOULD MAKE IT OUT THIS *ITCH.

FROM BREAD AND BOLOGNA TO WIC MATERIAL, 2% MILK KING VITAMIN CEREAL.

TRAPPING ALL AROUND WITH NO WAY TO SLEEP, HOUSE STAYED JUMPING 7 DAYS A WEEK.

IN PUBLIC SHOWED MY LIFE DIFFERENT BUT WHO WAS I FOOLING, NOT TO MANY HOT MEALS LIVING OFF RAMEN NOODLES.

BUT DAMN PROUD OF WHAT I WENT THROUGH CAUSE IT TAUGHT ME ALOT, JUST CAUSE YO *HIT PAID UP DON'T REALLY MEAN YOU GOT IT.

FROM PAPER FOODSTAMPS TO WELFARE CHECKS, MADE YOU FEEL HOOD RICH HOW COULD YOU FORGET.

FROM DRUG DEALERS TO DOPE FIENDS I SEEN IT EVERYDAY, MY AUNTIE WAS THE DOPE GIRL CALLING EACH AND EVERY PLAY.

SHOWED ME HOW TO COOK, CUT IT SO I CAN MAKE A SALE, HUSTLING YOUNG HIT MY FIRST LICK AT 12.

I SOAKED UP THE KNOWLEDGE BUT THAT AIN'T WHAT I ENVISIONED, GOT FAST MONEY FROM *UCK S...

16 AND PREGNANT

KICKING IT ONE DAY AROUND THE HOOD, I MET A GUY WHO THOUGHT IT WAS ALL GOOD.

I WALKED OVER TO HIM WITH A SMILE ON MY FACE, THIS WAS THE RIGHT DUDE IN THE WRONG PLACE.

A DARK SKIN BROTHER WITH A RIDE SO TIGHT, THAT I DECIDED TO GO HOME WITH HIM THAT NIGHT.

WHEN WE PULLED UP TO HIS HOUSE HE SAID YOU CAN COME INSIDE, MY RESPONSE WAS SURE WHY NOT SO YOU KNOW OBLIGED.

I SAT DOWN ON THE COUCH THEN HE PULLED ME IN THE ROOM, HE SAID NO NEED TO BE SHY I KNOW YOU WANT IT TO.

AS HIS STICK DRUMMING, MY CLIQUE HUMMING WE STARTED TO UNDRESS, THEM GENTLE KISSES GOT SO INTENSE YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED NEXT.

WE HAD SEX AND IT WAS GOOD, THE NEXT DAY HE TOOK ME BACK TO MY HOOD.

IT WAS WHILE BEFORE I SAW HIM AGAIN AND WHEN I DID I ASKED HIM WHERE HAD HE BEEN, HE LIED AND SAID OUT OF TOWN ALL THE TIME I KNEW WHAT WAS GOING DOWN.

WHEN I TOLD HIM I WAS PREGNANT HE SAID WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THEN SAID IT'S ALL GOOD BECAUSE HE THOUGH I WAS 18.

ALWAYS

I NEVER THOUGHT

I NEVER THOUGHT I'D HOLD HIM NEAR TO ME BUT THAT'S THE WAY LOVE GOES, HIS WORDS DIDN'T MATCH HIS LIFESTYLE BUT HE'S A REAL ONE I SUPPOSE.

HIS WORDS WE'RE STRONG BUT HIS STRENGTH WAS WEAK, BUT I LOVED HIM THROUGH HIS FLAWS AND HIS GAME I PEEPED.

HE MAKING PLANS I HAD A PLAN BUT HE DIDN'T FALL THROUGH, SO I FELL BACK NO CALLS OR TEXT AND LET HIM DO WHAT HE DO.

AND THAT'S NOT PLAY ME WHEN I BEEN SOLID SO WHY EXPOSE URSELF, GUESS HE HAD NO OTHER CHOICE CAUSE I PLAYED THE HAND WAS DEALT.

FOR ME, TO LET GO AND ANALYZE YOU FROM AN ANGLE, NEVER WILL I FALL VICTIM IN A LOVE TRIANGLE.

OR TANGLED UP INSIDE THE HEART OF A MF WHO DON'T CARE, BUT I NEVER SHOW A DUDE WARNING SIGNS WHEN HE PLAY UNFAIR.

I WILL NEVER BE A SIDECHICK TO ANYBODY WHEN I'M A CHOSEN WOMAN TO A MAN, AND ONLY THE REAL CAN RELATE SO DON'T EXPECT YOU TO UNDERSTAND.

SO CARRY ON LIKE I CARRIED U BEEN DOWN SINCE FIRST DAY, BUT YOU DIDN'T KNOW I PLAYED UR HAND BEFORE THE C...

NO HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

TODAY SHOULD BE A MEMORABLE MOMENT BUT I GUESS OUR TIME HAS PASSED.

ALL THE LOVE I GAVE AND SHOWED SOMEHOW YOUR LOVE DIDN'T MATCH.

MINE, CAUSE YOUR COLD AND NUMB.

BUT FOR US TO BE IN THIS RELATIONSHIP WHO'S PLAYING DUMB.

YOU OR ME SINCE YOU CAN'T SEEM TO SEE.

PASS ALL THE BULL CRAP LATELY YOU BEEN SERVING ME.

LIKE HOW AM I YOUR LEFTOVERS WHEN I'M THE MAIN DISH.

AND WHY THE HELL YOU KEEP ME AROUND IF YOU HAVE OPTIONS, PICK.

FROM HERE OR THERE CAUSE I'M NOT ONE OF THEM.

I ALWAYS DID A HUNDRED PERCENT AND NEVER TREATED YOU LIKE A HIM.

BUT DAMN YOU MAKE IT SO OBVIOUS FOR ME TO FINALLY SEE. 

THAT 11 YEARS OF LOVING YOU WAS TAKING AWAY FROM WE.

ME AND MY POTENTIAL HUSBAND!!

NO HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!

I CALLED TO HEAVEN

MAMA THE DAY YOU PASSED AWAY I CALLED TO HEAVEN BEFORE YOU MADE IT.

CONFIRMATION WAS SHOWN WITH THIS FLOWER ON THE TABLE.

YOU CALLED IT SUNSHINE AS YOU WATCHED IT EVERYDAY.

IT EXPIRED THE SAME DAY YOU DID BUT ALL THINGS CAN'T BE REPLACED.

LIKE YOUR LOVE AND YOUR LIFE CAUSE ANOTHER FLOWER STILL BLOOM.

I KNOW GOD SAW FIT FOR YOU AND DECIDED MAKING ROOM.

IN HIS KINGDOM FOR AN ANGEL WHO WAS SWEET AS SHE COULD BE.

REMEMBER DEEP ESCAPED INTO ETERNAL LIFE NOW YOU ARE FINALLY FREE.

"LOVE ALWAYS"

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LISTEN

I NEED TO TELL YOU HOW I'M FEELING I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND.

I'M BIPOLAR TO THIS LIFE I'M IN IT'S CALL HAPPY AND SAD.

YOU BRING OUT THE BEST IN ME SO WHY DO IT HURT.

I ALWAYS SEEM TO ENJOY YOU MOST WHEN I'M NOT EVEN WORTH.

NOTHING TO THE ONE I LOVE BUT MEAN SO MUCH TO YOU.

THE WAY YOU TRULY MAKE ME FEEL GIVE ME CHILLS AND BLUES.

I'M SO SCARED TO LOVE AGAIN AFTER ALL THE PAIN I HELD.

KNOWING YOU WOULD NEVER HURT ME IS SOMETHING I ALWAYS TELL.

MYSELF, WHEN I THINK ABOUT WHERE YOU AND I COULD BE.

SO I'D RATHER REMAIN FRIENDS UNTIL WE UNDERSTAND ME.

BECAUSE I'M STILL LEARNING MYSELF AS WELL, SO YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

I'M TELLING YOU THE TRUTH NOW SO YOU WANT FEEL YOUR BEING STRUNG ALONG.

TO THINK!

WHY?

SHE HURT ME.

MY PERSONAL DIARY

THE DAY I LOST MY DIARY I COULDN'T EVEN SLEEP.

MY MIND IT RACED A MILE A MINUTE BECAUSE THE PAIN IT CUT SO DEEP.

THE DAY I LOST MY DIARY APART OF ME WAS NUMB.

ONLY THING I FELT WAS EMPTINESS AND THAT FELT SO DUMB.

THE DAY I LOST MY DIARY THE WORLD I COULD NOT FACE.

IT'S NOT SIMPLE TO REWRITE HISTORY CAUSE THE LOVE CAN'T BE REPLACED.

THE DAY I LOST MY DIARY ALL THE WORDS FADED.

BUT DA MEMORIES INSIDE MY HEART I KEPT AND I'M SO GLAD I SAVED THEM.

REMEMBER WHEN YOUR LIFE IS VALUED BY SOMEONE AND YOU LOSE IT ALL THERE'S TRAUMA.

THAT'S WHY I KEPT TWO DIARIES CAUSE THE FAVORITE 1 I LOST IS THE 1 I LOVED THE MOST N SHE WAS MORE THAN MAMA.

SHE WAS MY LIFE. 

BUT GOD NEEDED HER MORE.

I LOVE U MAMA!!