Finding Hope

Finding Hope

The girl of my dreams better stay in my dreams

Cuz I'm tryna live life, and not stay in between

what's real and what isnt, turn this change into cream

My joy is disappearing like the words when they fade in the screen

at the end of the movie

Got no friends when I'm losing,

Try my best to keep moving, I find rest in this music

Yeah music is soothing, and these lyrics I'm choosing

help me escape from this place that I made

Hell's on the plate and satan's the maid

Fell on my face, but i say that I'm great

I say I'm ok, but i know that i aint

cuz I'm holding to the pain that i blame for my past

I mean I'm holding to the past that i blame for my pain

You see i cant think straight and i cant think fast

when im still in the dark sitting flat on my ass

Got no cash in my hands, i don't rap for the fans

I find hope in my words when they land on the pad

A CHANGED MAN/ GIVE ME PEACE

this time. im done.
i have realized what is important in LIFE.
its not parties. its not getting high.its not money and its not girls or the clothes i wear.
the 3 important things in life are God, family, and self-acceptance.
I accept that i am a horrible person.
i am not a GOOD person.
People might say im kind, sweet, loving, or generous..but in reality, those are just cover ups for whats underneath.
I am selfish. I am greedy. I am relentless in my wrong doings.
I have bitterness and anger in my heart.
The things i say i "love", i show no action towards to back it up.
I am a hypocrite. I am nothing close to perfect.
I am nothing close to good. But i can try to be good.
However, the evil in me will always figure its way out, to destroy that which is good.
I will no longer try to be something that i am not.
I am what i am.
And now i must live with the decisions and mis...

this thing i feel

this thing i feel is indescribable
what is it that you are doing to me?
i look into your eyes
and i see sincerity,
i feel the essence of your heart
this thing i feel, ive never felt before
every time i close my eyes, i see your smile
everytime you smile, i close my eyes
its just me and you
this thing i feel, makes me happy
your words bring comfort to my soul
my heart was cold,
but now your laughter takes control
i feel complete, i think ive been made whole
this thing i feel, is perfect
im taking a risk, but its worth it
no doubts or fears get in the way
you are everything i could NEVER imagine
you are a product of the unexpected
this thing i feel, makes me feel like a child
i see your texts, and i cant help but smile
but this feeling is not immature
neither is it emotion
your purity and comfort draws me closer
we ...

STAY & FIGHT

I search my soul

Seeking an answer

Confusion and fear cloud my thoughts

My heart is numb

The things i would do just to feel pain

Just to feel alive

Grace is what keeps me

Hope, it is my reason to wake up

I'm tired of this oppression

That nature has forced upon me

But I know I am not alone

This world is still over crowded with lost souls

Waiting to be found

Or waiting to find themselves

I am one of them

And they are me

We share the same single mother

We share the same dad that walked out

We dwell in the same insecurities

We hear the same cries

The cries of mothers when their sons' are given 25 to life

The cries of infants commuting in buses with 16 year old queens

Queens because they choose to give their "mistake" a chance to have purpose

Queens because they choose to be unselfish

Queens beca...