I was better at this than a lot of people I know but I have lived in fear. Do you know what its like to live in fear. Its slavery. Always not knowing when your next move will be your last move so you watch all of your moves.
I was smarter than a lot of people, the words would process in my mind but bringing it to the world was a crushing move and I was the one being crushed. I didnt like it but I accepted the status quo and survived.
I had that word.
Its all about breathing oxygen in and out and not noticing much of anything else. Missing the culture because you are afraid to speak your mind. Discovered it a bit in college, an all black college. The culture was strong there and nothing else much to see or experience.
I was proud of who I was but I was still surviving.