8000
whereby the missus didst potchke
created whirling dervish hubbub
after enjoying repast,
(fit for a tarnished king),
yours truly able, eager, and ready
to soak my ego freezing carcass in a hot tub.
Hmm... on second thought
lemme apprise others
on the verge against starving themselves,
(nor exposing their lovely bones
to a$$ biting temperatures)
rather I beg, enjoin, invoke...
potential dying skeletal selves
amidst anorexic club
(about fifty years ago yours truly
evinced existence as hunger artist)
until rib cage protruded taut and visible
doubling as drum to drub
synchronized within heart of darkness,
especially when electrocardiogram exhibited
absolute zero vital sign,
cardiac arrest translated
as cessation to lub dub,
hence yours truly
declared dead as doornail,
coroner report deemed arrhythmia
directly indeed linkedin
to deliberate paranoid Machiavellian flub
courtesy the missus attempted to poison me
(courtesy arse cynic no – not really)
actually aborted cuz nanobots
loosed upon body
gripped with rigor mortis,
a minor inconvenient truth
with earthling in balance,
cuz odorless and tasteless deadly toxins
rendered me convalescing
from bout with death, an oxymoronic
former slenderman gourmand.
Woke word wizard temporarily deceased
(stunting body, mind and soul)
until said microscopic robots
avidly analogous to frenzied
figuratively hogtied pigs
buzzfeeding at a trough
creating porcine hubbub
invisible nanoids (0.1-10 micrometres)
accomplished programmed task,
whereby fatal microbes they did scrub
away leaving me fit as a fiddle.
No matter she thoroughly, painstakingly
and lovingly didst strew
haphazardly she threw
leftovers righteously together,
this unseasonably warm
November twenty fourth figuratively view
wing the remaining thirty plus days
of two thousand twenty two
thoroughly cooked in microwave until...
poor excuse for my meal appeared
with consistency of shoe leather.
Think the missus not afraid
of Virginia Woolf keen to experiment
treating me like the Gingerbread Hag would:
questionable resultant glop pantomimed
for my guessing pleasure
never figure out in bajillion years
as amateurish Marcel Marceau charade
performance courtesy the spouse,
an entrée she gave - yours truly
immediately sought to evade
me subsequently evincing
horrific puckered mealy mouth
as though I swallowed hand grenade
figurative exploding oral cavity
feeble futile gesticulation inveighed.
Thus, methinks himself wise
to don cooking apron
please do not ask why
trumpeting self as master chef boyardee
so move over wife and allow husband to try
his hand (using skill - let) me prepare Thai
and/or other Asian cuisine dish,
cuz when free to potschke
(To fuss or "mess around"
inefficiently and inexpertly), I haint shy
to blend (indiscriminately) ingredients
ofttimes yours truly barley able to ply
boiling water since significant other
does not give this garden variety
and generic, gimlet eyed
gourmandizing guilt free
Earth friendly gumption goaded guy
an even handed doodling Yankee a try,
who offtimes asks why.
Every so often yours truly
tries to stave off appetite for consumption
regarding chomping down
unrecognizable fried object
gets so hungry, he could eat a horse
(yours truly jest kidding hoof course)
truth be told, I only eat one meal per day
all day from son up to son down, me a force
tubby reckoned with,
who if he gives way to vice
event chew wooly
(mammouth) experiences remorse.
Hum glad to share
mine reasonably rhyming hook
twenty six letters linkedin amidst
various combinations, formations, permutations,...
allows, enables, and provides a look
into the mindscape of Matthew Scott Harris
doth show himself with steely dangling
nonsense without pride nor prejudice,
nor sense and sensibility he forsook.
