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I had to be relentless
When I did vent this
Cause I was the one who did invent this
Used to be a Seventh day Adventist
But religion was unable to rent this
All they did was try to have spent this
The serpent
Squirmed there just cursin
While the preacher had many lies dispersin
Nothing ever could ever have been worsen
Cause I had grown worse than
The person behind me who was emotionally jerkin!
Grew up to be laborious and hard workin
But religion infiltrating my mind
At age 9
Got me to go berserkin!
Growing up with vivid images of violence
Forced me to be temporarily silenced
But my mind had so many questions mounted
I then rerouted
And from religion I chose to have dismounted
Climbed the mountains
Of life all by myself
With no help!
Lived for self
Bore my own young untimely death
By age 14 I lost my spirits breath
Nothing in my heart was left
It turned cold
Ice like the land of arctic
Grew up looking at people act the hardest
But I had the hardest heart-est!
No one could be more confined than my mind
Swung and fought at the drop of a dime
My minds capacity began to define
Then words
Just came to me in rhythmic format
Wore my hat to the back
Walked with anger
Because a child hood is exact
ly, what I had lacked!
Forced to wear only what was on my back
That being the weight of the world and never had slack!
I then began to give tit for tat
Spit rhymes that were whack
But then used a different method and form
Grew above the norm
Emotionally deformed
For what I thought was norm
Was the very thing that others feared!
So I used my hate to smear
To cause fear
To interfere
To not have rules adhere!
I could listen carefully
But would never hear
But then came the day
In which God drew near
I lost myself
When I cried a tear
In the tear
Was my microcosmic being
I realized the more stout I acted
The more from self
I was fleeing
‘Cause I was full of fear
So with God I pled
“Get out of my headâ€!
But rather
Or should I say instead?
He was determined
To have my future predetermined
To take out of me, my diabolical vermin
Forced to initiate & create
My own life long sermon!
And so until this day
I was forced to pave
My own way
In my own path I stay
No one could tell me that I sway
Because its my own route
That I made my way
It’s quick turns and steep drops
Are there to build my better me
Although endlessly
Quite emotionally
Disturbing me
I have no one to blame
Aside from me
I’m then forced
To take full responsibility
So sensibly
I sensationally
Admit to my wrongs
My sad songs
My worsened wrongs
The many cries I created
From the masses and throngs!
It is I
No one else but me
In which remains
With me in my company
Although all alone
Realistically
It is not my fantasy
To be isolated for eternity
So I use my words
To potentially
Create an avenue of connection
In hopes that the old me doesn’t come out
In some kind of resurrection
So through my writing
I do my fighting
My reciting
Is my room lighting
Every thought written
Is that which I take delight in
Take it
Never forsake it
Just take a moment of your time
To understand this mind of mine!
For I hope to build emotional & intellectual bridges
So maybe you could help me sew up my many scars with some helpful stitches
SkTzO
