Schooling is a lifetime ago. I want for nothing but here I go again electing to pen this unknown and unfamiliar gnawing in the pit of my soul that recognizes that I have left undone the most important aspect of existence. Reaching and planning or planning and reaching perhaps the problem lies in first cause. Delving too deeply could sever something that ruptures a necessary thought. Too long sedentary giving rise to unfounded hopes can lead one into delusions. I delude myself as often as opportunity allows. My eyes and mind take in the seen and unseem and then two connections lead into revelations to be examined. Noone can be in the moment and not expose the lie...the truth of its existence. Learning is what the mind does. Relating is the gift it exposes. I grasp the truth of me and I lack the complete. To give up now would be to deny what might have been. Regrets...remorse are all part of living , growing, being.