Newpanther | Poetry Vibe
Newpanther
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  ruby
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You Will Be With Me In Paradise

CATEGORY

life

Views: 110

I arose this morning
wiping the sleep from my eyes
As the dew on the front lawn grass dries with the rising of the sun
A new forever has begun
And I remember the darkness of yesterday 
no more

I became a woman 
far earlier than I was supposed to be
amidst an atmosphere of ignorance and apathy
because that was the tradition
no life blueprint passed down for me to follow
that was the condition
the weak hand of cards given me to play
And so I woke up today
joyous
because I now have a clean slate
In paradise

Did I really live back then?
Or was I just a phantom?
Was I only just physically there
to fend for myself and figure it out each day?
What is it like to love 
and give love?
What is it really like to care?
Questions removed from my backpack
As I walked barefoot on an endless lonely road
Love replaced by survival
Love was too heavy a load for me to carry
But I can toss away my backpack now 
Light replaces what once was dim
So many mirages of beaches and palm trees along the way
never time to stop and swim
And now 
I will lay out my beach towel 
Relax under my large umbrella
Gazing forever at a coral colored Caribbean sea
In paradise

I had to shed so many things on my road for so many years
Moving forward to meet the day ahead
I had no time for regret or tears
Who had time for formal learning and higher education?
Each morning alive I counted as a graduation
And all of your accomplishments 
Forgive me if it was in a language I did not understand
What did I know or care about curriculums or degrees
While cleaning houses on my hands and knees
My upbringing was lonely and cruel
The hard hand of reality was the daily rule
This was the way I was loved
And the only way I ever knew
The only way I knew how to love all of you 
And when you offer me love
Despite of my indifference and apathy towards you
love was so absent and removed from my DNA
I always looked at your love in such a strange way
But today
I know what love is and smile 
As I recline now on my beach towel
While gazing at the forever ebbs and flows of the tide
On my secluded beach
In paradise

If loving me was hard for you to do
I was never really taught how to care or love all of you
And if your tears for the yearning of love from me
Kept you up at night
I can only offer apologies for the things I knew was wrong
Trying to back track the road I travelled 
To make things right
Would take too long
So I kept moving forward to reach this day
Hoping that in some small way
You would understand that you all are stronger than you know
The places you have been and the places you will go
Will require something within you that is almost 
Out of body
And you will not understand where within you it came
in the back of your mind you will then realize
we are one and the same
You will be resilient and strong because
That is what the day and the road your daily travel requires
To satisfy and quench your daily fires
It is what I had to do for all these years
To get to where I am today
Reclining on my towel
Forever watching the ebbs and flows on my private beach
In paradise…

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COMMENTS

Contest Winner  

mlowe5 says:

Profoundly beautiful! A self-molded tributary of awareness and growth into a post-graduate sojourn of life. Great Write. ONE.Peace and Love

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