LOST MY APPETITE

Publish Me

pages of my life 
turning faster than October leaves
falling
chased around the backyard with a rake and plastic bag
armfuls gathered
attempts to dump them inside half open
mischievous plastic containers
silently cursing the sudden breeze
shaking it
closing it
suddenly closing its mouth
just as I am about to feed it
treacherous twigs bursting through its thin frame
leading handfuls of leaves to freedom

hours passing
days
years
pages turning
too busy to stop and proofread

I am older now
pages continuing to turn
as I grudgingly submit to change
tears
earmark the beginning of new chapters
and I am wise enough to know
that some day
my book will be completed

God

I hope it is a best seller

Confidential

you don't know
you assumed
went and told the whole story
holes in the beginning
middle
the end
chapter not closed
but left ajar
once upon a time
and
happily ever after
false narratives
because you didn't ask somebody
and certainly
didn't ask me
because you know
would have got nothing from me
started the day with house money
played all day
and never come up with three cherries
bars
lucky sevens in your slot machine
went home with the house
taking all of your money
because
you don't know
didn't ask somebody
'cause you do know
I would never tell you

PawPaw's Prayer

to be the best PawPaw I can be
and shower you with love and kisses
until the right one comes along
and transforms from miss to missus

to be your umbrella in the rain
and provide to you an arch of safety
to give you the freedom of expression
and always satisfy your curiosity

to be the bridge you never see
if mommy is not able at the time
to be the period in your sentence
and be the last word in your rhyme

to be the sentinel with a shotgun
standing ready at the front door
when those approach with ill interest
want to exceed what you are ready for

to be the loudest voice heard
watching from the stands while you cheer
to dry your tears when you are afraid
and know that PawPaw will be near

to know that mommy will be the light
shining upon the path you tread
clothing and shelter and comfort 
always providing the daily...

She Made Love To Me

she made love to me

I couldn't help myself
my will was weak
my spirit
vulnerable to impending moments of passion

let me tell you all about it

she wanted to make love to me
but didn't know how
after the evening meal was consumed
we sat in the living room
looking at each other
two restless panthers in a circus cage
feeling each other out
looking for the perfect opportunity to pounce

the Smokey Robinson CD never fails
but it did tonight

the incense and candles would always have us on the floor
knocking over chairs
lamps
anything that wasn't nailed down
prompting knocks on the door
or the floor
from angry neighbors downstairs
but tonight
she wanted to make love to me

so we sat there
and it began to happen

a conversation began about something she saw in the news

**PSA***

I Know Nothing About Pork Roll

slice it in the morning
with scramble eggs with cheese
wheat toast with butter
and a cup of coffee, if you please

we still have a cozy diner
in every county of the state
some are second class
but most of them are first rate

let me throw on some shades
Parkway south to Atlantic City
or points along the Jersey shore
where the water is cool and pretty

flexible lawn chairs and coolers
house music played in Weequahic Park
fireworks in the sky will begin 
at the Meadowlands fair after dark

free concert outside at NJPAC
tickets sold out at Prudential and PNC
found a close parking spot for lunch
overlooking the Statue of liberty

or you will find me downtown
Broadway Pizza for two or three slices
Market street and Main Street
checking out the latest sale prices

Hinchliffe Stadium up the hill
Baurle Field, ...

Just Ahead

parched for worthy words
with weary eyes I see an oasis ahead
beach chair 
extending along its banks
icy sweat 
falling from each side of a tall glass of poetic lemonade
cubes dancing within
verbs
adjectives
waiting to be devoured
to relieve the arid pen I hold
as man was formed from the dust
so will be the next poem arise
for I have found you
I have found your teachings
once again, I exist
to write
to live

to be mentored
once again 

Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep

lay your weary head down
this night as always
always to Him
your soul is His to keep
snuggled deep inside the brown leather purse by your side
to be summoned 
given to the ushers passing by in the aisle
stopping at each pew
dressed in uniformed white
and when it was time
your soul would be placed on the collection plate
adding to others
presented at the alter
and given back to Him

your lamp light
always filled with fresh oil 
burning brightly each night on the front porch
just in case He came to call during off hours
and off you went to sleep
but this night
your soul heard the doorbell ring
an usher dressed in uniformed white
finally reached your pew
and without hesitation
you reached
and retrieved your soul from the brown leather purse
sitting by your side
and gently placed it ins...

In God I Trust

Approaching your burning bush
Measured distance to not be singed by its flames
In the presence of your most excellent holiness
I wished for
Prayed for
A moment of your day
A portion of your lunch hour
Or coffee break
If God ever required a touch of caffeine in between creating the universe
Light and day
Heavens and earth
You can get the detailed listing in Genesis
Just like he told me

No name plate on his office door at home
Never referred to him as
I am that I am
But simply 
Daddy
In whom I did trust
Who was the light ruling over my darkness
My provider
Never knowing how he provided my daily manna
But it was always there each night at 6
As we sat around the dinner table

In God I trust
Because he did
And demanded that I would also
Trust and obey
For there is no other way
...

Grace 'N Mercy

I wasn't going to say it
ain't proud that the day and time has come to fruition
spending sprees and credit purchases
yesterday
but the bill came in the mail
today
and collections department is demanding immediate payment

I ain't the one to rub it in your face
but I seen this coming from way back when
you ignored the signs and wonders 
the laying on of hands didn't work
the holy ghost called you several times
but your heart was in non vibrate 
silent mode 

I ain't gonna bask in the glow of
..there
almost said it
and I promised I wouldn't point my finger
dance in delight around your maypole
'cause mine is tied right next to yours
and I heeded the warnings

I built my house with bricks and stone
looking out at the neighborhood 
homes and lives constructed of sticks and ...